“She’s seen the scar.” I nodded, then folded my arms. “I feel awful then,” I said. “For her. For you. For this whole thing.”
“It’s all awful,” he said. “But I am not ashamed of my decisions. When the Treaty was announced, half my soul intended to disrupt your union, somehow. And the other…”
“And the other?” I asked.
“The other half said it was enough to be within your orbit. It said, do as you’re told. Hide in plain sight. Leave her alone. Let Sameer be happy… but before you ask, no. I didn’t befriend Sam to use him. I befriended him while I was alone in the world. I do honestly care for him.”
“I never suspected that,” I said, sighing. “Honestly, for the number of times you’ve scolded me for my words against him, the only thing I know for fact is that your friendship is true.”
“It is. Very much, despite everything. If there’s anything authentic about Cyrus Evergreen, it’s his respect and his love for the Prince. That’s why it’s so hard to feel this way. I’m less concerned about your knight actually gutting me, than I am gutting Sameer.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Don’t be. Please. …Svana, I am still the man you’ve confided in. I’m still the man you’ve shaped for the better. Please believe me. Without you, I was unanchored. I met women; I used women. I sought ways to conceal thisobsession–I, I hadn’t spoken to you in half a decade, yet every thought belonged to you somehow. Even across the world, I was not far enough. That's not a good look for a rake, now is it?”
“No,” I whispered. “No, and in any other circumstance I would be very frightened right now. You sound completely mad.”
“I am mad. I’m completely mad for you. Does it not show? I’ve made friends here. You know? I’ve made a name for myself, but I… I can’t dismiss the hope that… I don’t even know. That you might care? And now I fear I’ve destroyed my chance, my chance to have you, even if but for mere seconds before you’re wed. It’s enough.”
“Is that all you want?” I asked. “Seconds?”
“There is no honorable way to answer that, love. A second, a minute, an eternity. There is no cost I would not pay for any fraction of time I could spend with you, Your Highness.”
I nodded, though I was unsure. I touched his neck, timid and anxiously.
“You haven’t destroyed anything,” I said. “If anything, your honesty has left me in want of you more. But I’m nervous.” My eyes flickered to his lips, then found his again. I touched his cheek, the stubble barely scratching against my fingers.“Willem,”I whispered.“I want you.”
His mouth pressed to mine. Beneath us, the mattress groaned as he laid back, taking me with him. The moment was perfect—the way he swept me into his body and breathed the same words back to me into my ear—then he hissed, absolutely wretchedly, at the pain the movement brought. His hand left me to shield his gash with a heavy gustful breath.
“Are you alright?” I begged, covering his fingers with mine. “Please. Lay down. You must.”
He obeyed, quickly moving toward the head of the bed but took me with him.
“Svana,” he said, pulling me to climb over him.
I staked my arms at either side of his body, but my gaze lingered. He was composed of coarser lines and ridges than I was, and I dared to explore their ends.
Cyrus rolled me to my back; he moaned once more.
“Stop it,” I told him, though I could not help but laugh. “We have not touched in so long. What is another week if it means you’re not in agony?”
“One pain for another,” he joked but he collapsed back beside me with a curse.
“I want you not to hurt,”I said. “All I do is hurt you it seems.”
“That’s not true,” he replied. He stared at the ceiling. Finally, he asked, “What’s happened since I’ve been out?
“What’s happened? What do you mean? In the world? How should I know?” I said. “I’ve been in here with you.”
“No. I meant…with you and Sam. He asked me for advice,” he said.
“Advice?”I scoffed. “On what?” I propped myself upon my elbow and grinned, playing with the growing shadow on his chin.
“On you,” he said. He was still.
“Me?”
“Yes. You.” He finally looked. “He asked how to get you to forgive him.”
