“Don’t. Don’t say that.” He moved forward then cupped my face. “Don’t punish me for clinging to the way that youpinedfor me when I was the ever-enticing Cyrus Evergreen.”
“Pined for…? You don’t evenrealize…”
“I do realize the pain; I can see it.” His hand moved to my arm.
“No. Not thepain;that I-” I gasped, stuttering to regain control of my voice. “Will,” I said, not even believing the name had fallen from my lips. “Will, Iheld backfrom Mr. Evergreen because he was not you. Because he was not my soulmate. My Willem.”
“What do you mean?”
“If you are so very keen to my pining, sir, then surely you can rattle your perfect memory for what I mean! If I have pined for anyone, it— I havealwaysfound you attractive– found Mr. Evergreen attractive. And yes, I have thought to explore our connection but… But I have also always been so cruelly affixed to the guilt that I harbor for what happened to Willem, when he… when you were… When they punished you formydecision. My kiss.”
“That kiss was not just your decision,” he said.
“Yes, it was,” I told him. “I grabbed you. I made you kiss me.”
“No,” he insisted. “No, Svana. Iwantedit.”
“I made you and they hurt you.”
“Yes, they hurt me,” he said. “But I knew it was a possibility when I agreed to it, and I’m not sorry. I would endure the horror over and over again just to relive the very moments before. Do you not know how deeply I longed for you back then?”
I swallowed.
“Do you not know how deeply I long for you now?” he asked.
He craned, closing the distance between our heights. I was shaking, meekly panting.
“I wrote to you,” I said, barely constricting a sob. “I wrote to you every Spring, every Winter, every Summer and every Fall. I waited my whole life for your replies. I begged God to bring you back to King’s Land, to give me a chance to apologize, to defend you, to prevent your harm, and this whole time you’ve been lulling me into a sweet lullaby that you what? Planned to end the moment I was married and never even reveal to me your identity first?”
“No,” he promised.
“Yes.”
“I did notplanfor it to end. It is just the nature of what this is. You’re marrying the Prince.”
“…Does Elías know?” I asked.
His forehead pressed to mine. “Svana.”
“He knows, doesn’t he?” I asked. “You worshipped him. He was your father’s friend. Your hero. Don’t lie to me. Not about him. Not the way he has lied. Please.”
“Yes. He knows,”he said.
“I am devastated,” I told him, stepping back. I felt my chest. “I am wrecked. How could he not tell me?”
“He didn’t tell you because we were never supposed to cross paths again,” he said.
“Youworkfor my intended!” I cried.
“Yes,” he agreed. “Yes, I do. But I– When I was a young man and I first arrived here– You see, Elías found this place for us, a place that mirrored life back home. He did not…The Treaty did not exist then. This was supposed to be the last place I would be found. I was not supposed to see you like this, like anything. I don’t think he ever thought wecouldmeet if I were here.”
“Then his betrayal goes deeper than I could have fathomed,” I said.
“No,” he argued.
“Yes,” I nodded, swiping a tear. “Yes, because I pleaded with him. I pleaded that he find you. No, Igroveled!”
“Svana.”
