“It’s fine, let us reroute our conversation,” he suggested.
“Mr. Evergreen.” I studied him. “Are you suggesting that… That ‘sex’ would be as if I laid with… with like, the Prince? And that…”
He ran his fingers through his hair.
“That love making would be as if… as if I laid with… you?” I asked.
“I mean, I cannot begin to presume your feelings, Your Highness,” he said. “But I do hope that I would fall a little closer to the latter, all things said. You hate Sameer.”
“Oh, I see,” I said.“Wait.Then that means…”
“Nope. No, it doesn't,”he said. “It means I misunderstood you. That’s all.”
At the very moment of his denial, I became hype-aware that he was lying. Ididmean that he… I took a sharp breath as thoughts of charcoal and burning flesh polluted my mind. I could hear Elías’s voice. What would say–what he would do to poor Mr. Evergreen. I began to hyperventilate.
Mr. Evergreen appeared beside me, a hand at my back. “Princess,” he said. “It means nothing. I was just confused. That’s all. Please.”
“Youcannotfall in love with me!” I hissed, clutching my skirts. “No!”
“What?”
Mr Evergeen’s face shifted, the very light of him dimmed a thousand shades, and somewhere in me, I hurt for it, and I knew I may as well have heaved his sword through his gut.
“You– I–” I gasped. “You can’t!”
“...I see,” he said
“No, I– Please, sir. Please,” I begged.
“No, it’s fine. I understand,” he pressed.
“No!” I cried. “No! You don’t! Youdon’tunderstand! They’ll hurt you! They’ll hurt you and I will never, never, never ever recover!”
Evergreen halted. He stared at me and then–for some stupid reason, his shoulders eased. They’d been so tense; I hadn’t even noticed until they relaxed. He shook his head and his hand moved from my back to my arm.
“No one’s going to hurt me,”he promised. “No one will ever hurt-”
“They will,” I said. “They will and I–? I have to go,” I hurried.
“Of course," he said. His caution gave way to sense as he barely turned. “Just let me get my-”
“No!” I said. I blinked back tears. “No. We’re not far. I?” I searched around us, considering, scared. “I’ll walk alone. It’s late. If… If someone sees you with me…”
“They’ll assume I’m escorting you back as I always have,” he said.
Still, I could not help but scan the horizon another time.
“Please,” I told him. “Please.”
He swallowed. “If you’re certain, then I won’t press it. But I will watch, Svana. For the candles in your chamber. Blow it out at the window. Then I know you’re safe. But don’t dawdle because if I don’t see them quickly, I’ll come after you. Is that… Is that a fair compromise?”
I nodded slowly.
“Thank you,” he said. He added, “No one’s going to hurt me. I promise.”
I scoffed, then grabbed my hem off the ground and escaped to my room alone.
Idiot,I thought, snatching my chamber’s candle by the sill. I held it up to the window and blew it out. Evergreen stood near the stables a second longer, leaned against the wall. He waved after a moment, softly, peacefully, and devotedly as he was by nature, and I waved back though I knew he wouldn't see me. When he walked off, I sat at the vanity, reciting the word ‘idiot,’ like an angry mantra as I unbraided my hair and glowered at the mirror.
