“Nothing.It’s fine.”It wasn’t, but with fourteen or so hours of Scottish time travel and a fifth of whiskey, I’d be able to fake it.“What about you?”I asked, finally pulling out of my self-absorbed stupor enough to notice the smudges under her eyes she’d used very expensive concealer to try to hide.“Did you get things sorted with your old friend?”
I swallowed on the wordfriend.One more thing that would be forever connected to Jensen, and I was going to have to call Elena and tell her the house fell through.Fuck.
“Actually, yes.That case is settled too.Jack and his wife are reconciling.Turns out the partner set my client up to try to get controlling share of the company.”She ran a hand over her already smooth hair, her lips curving in an uncomfortable smile.
“Are you okay?I know you really liked him.”It looked like both of us were nursing broken hearts.
“A marriage is still intact.I have to be happy about that, right?”
“On an intellectual level, yeah, but it can still suck too.”
“It does.”
We sat for a moment in mutual malaise, consoling ourselves with chocolate and coffee.It was an okay short-term fix but led to ass spreading problems long-term.We needed a better plan.
“Let’s get everyone together for dinner and drinks, heavy on the drinks.”
“I’d love that, but it has to be tomorrow.I’ve got a work thing tonight.”
“Tomorrow then.I’ll set it up.”I had plans, things to do, reasons to move forward, even if it was just drinking with my girlfriends.Forward movement counted.“Call me if you need me.”I gave her hand a squeeze and stood, feeling better because I’d taken the focus off myself.
“Same goes for you.”
The good feeling lasted the length of the elevator ride.By the time I hit the muggy heat of the street, the sadness and sense of loss was back in full force.I thumbed open my phone and dialed Elena’s number.May as well get all the shitty things out of the way at once rather than spread out the misery.
“Alex!I’m so glad you called.”She squealed through the other end of the line and I moved the phone a couple inches away from my ear to save what was left of my hearing.“I have so many things to tell you.”
“I’ve got something to tell you too.”
“Me first,” she said, practically gasping for breath.“I know you said you’d work things out with him...”
“Elena, wait.”
“But I couldn’t help myself,” she said, talking over my warning.“I just got off the phone with your Erik and he said yes!”
“He said yes?”That couldn’t be right.She had to have misunderstood him.Jensen hadn’t wanted his house included on the tour.There was no way he’d say yes after everything that happened.“To the house tour?”
“I think his exact words were ‘It would be my pleasure to do anything Alex asks of me.’He said it in that deep voice of his.Kind of gave me butterflies.”
I knew the voice.It was the one that washed over me like melted caramel.The one that ordered me to stay still and then set about trying to make me squirm.The one I never thought I’d hear again pitched low against my ear while its owner’s hands did delicious things to my body.
I ended the call more confused than I’d been when I started the day.There was absolutely no good reason for Erik to say yes to the home tour and a dozen reasons for him to say no.Before I could twist my thoughts into too tight of a pretzel, my phone rang again.Peter’s number flashed on my screen and my stomach dropped so fast, I almost missed a step.
“This is Lexi.”The old greeting felt awkward and wrong.It had only been a couple of weeks since I used it, but slipping into the old cadence felt like relearning a foreign language.“How can I help you, Peter?”
“I was wondering if I could book another session.Things with Sarah went so well after last time.We’ve got an anniversary coming up and I want to blow her mind.There’s a book she’s been reading and I’m not sure how to do some of the things in it.”
“I was actually on my way to the studio.I’ve got an unexpected opening in my schedule if you have time now?”
“Fantastic.”
The enthusiasm in his voice was an inverse proportion of my own feelings but that was just too damn bad.I had a business to resurrect.
––––––––
IWIPED MY hands onmy slacks as I waited for the elevator to arrive.I figured I had one chance to fix my fuck-up—if that—and I had no intention of blowing it.I’d do whatever it took to get Alex back in my life, even if it meant finding a way to be comfortable with her work.I hadn’t worked out all the hows but I wasn’t conflicted about the what.I wanted Alex in my arms, in my bed, in my life, and I was willing to move heaven and earth to get it.I loved her.I’d tell her over and over again every day until she believed me and was ready to love me back.
I hadn’t let myself consider that she might never get to that point.I was rolling forward full steam ahead with thefailure is not an optionplan.I was still nervous as shit, which was where the sweaty palms came in.I managed to push the elevator call button without leaving a sweat-streaked smudge behind as I rode to Alex’s studio.She wasn’t at her apartment and a surprisingly helpful Charlotte hadn’t known where she was but she mentioned removing the cease-and-desist, which meant there was every likelihood that Alex had gone back to work.That’s what I was banking on and since her phone went right to voicemail, it seemed like a safe bet.
