"So."Lydia lifted her hands helplessly."He got rid of us, and then you thought it would be better to lie and say he was dead."
Her mom stood abruptly, shaking her head."No.No, baby, that's not what happened.He wanted us to be safe.He gave me money to find an apartment for us, and he didn't want to know where I went, because he was afraid."
"Of what?"
"Coming to us."Her mom sighed."He wanted to make sure his enemies couldn't find us.He set up a post office box and mailed me money every month.Enough to take care of us.Enough to keep us in an apartment and out of danger."
Lydia blinked."Money?Apartment?"
They never had money.Her story didn't match anything she remembered.Not the cheap apartments.Not the nights they slept in the car.Not the men her mom clung to for a place to stay.
"After I had you, a man from Cusclan who lived in the same apartment started hanging around.It was nice to have another adult to talk to.I was at home all the time, taking care of you."Her mom's eyes filled with tears."Rail, that was the man's name, found out about the money Baker was sending me.He took my post office key and, every month, would grab the money.I was dependent on him without that money.Even after Rail died, I had to look for someone else to take care of us because Cusclan wouldn't give me the money they were stealing from me."
Lydia's breath caught.
Her mom kept going, voice trembling."Baker told me last night that he sent an envelope of money every month.The last one he sent was two weeks ago.We didn't get any of them, so you can see how I had no choice but to seek help from the only men who were willing to keep me in an apartment."
"Did you tell Baker that?"she asked.
"Of course.He didn't know what was happening for all those years.I had nothing.No help.No money.And Cusclan wouldn't let me go because they'd lose their money if I made it back to Baker."
Lydia's arms tightened around herself."So all those men...all those places we lived..."
"I was trying to escape," her mom whispered."Trying to find someone who could help me get away from Cusclan, so I could get back to Baker.I thought I'd made it when I left this last time.I thought if I could get out, find a place for us, I could come back for you.Once I had you back, we could find Baker.I didn't know that Sonny sold you to Royalla."
"You went back to get me?"she whispered.
Her mom wiped her face with shaking hands."Of course, I did."
The air left her lungs.
All the years she'd been angry.All the years she'd believed her mom chose men over her.All the years she thought her mom didn't care enough to fight.And her mom was surviving the only way she knew how.
And now to hear her mom fought to get her away from Cusclan and back to Baker, she couldn't wrap her head around it.
Her mom's voice broke."I never stopped trying to get us out.I never stopped.I just...I didn't know how to win, baby.All I've known is disappointment and fighting to survive.I wanted more for you.Bakerwanted more for us."
Lydia stood there, heart pounding, the truth unraveling everything she thought she knew.She didn't know whether to scream, cry, or collapse.
But she knew one thing for certain.
Nothing about her past was what she believed, and she wasn't sure how her mom could've changed anything.A biker's life was not easy.To be used and abused was devastating.To have no money and have someone in power telling her she couldn't work, had to defeat her at every turn.
Her mom wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, trying to pull herself together, but the tremble in her fingers gave her away.Lydia stayed where she was with her back pressed against the door like she needed it to hold her up.
"Will you talk to Baker?"whispered her mom.
Lydia's stomach twisted."Why?"
As hard as she tried, she couldn't find any empathy for him.He gave her away.He gave her mom away.When you love someone, you don't give them away.
"Because it would mean the world to him," her mom said, stepping closer."He's waited twenty years to know you exist.And now that you're here, he's terrified he's already lost you."
Lydia looked away, jaw clenching."What's changed?"
Her mom blinked."What do you mean?"
"If Baker sent us away to keep us safe," Lydia said, her voice sharper than she intended, "then why should I stick around now?What's different?Why is it suddenly safe for me to be here?"
