The guys weren’t as badass back in fifth grade, but they were still popular and cute. I might have had a small crush on Luke once upon a time, but nothing I would have acted on. Especially once they rose to power.
“Besides, being around them was different than being around you.” Nico blew out a breath. “You and I still played together. The guys and I were in football camp, and that year we blew everyone else out of the water. We were unstoppable. It felt good to be part of that.”
It makes sense. I still don’t know how they all became the horsemen, but that story can wait. “Okay, so back to New York. Did you have a girlfriend?”
He glances at me warily. “A couple. They didn’t last long. I never fell in love with them.”
My chest tightens. Huh? It kind of hurts he had someone special enough to date regularly. The other guys never have and that made me feel special, even if the only reason they’re with me is because I am—wasuntouched. I don’t know why I assumed Nico would never have had a girlfriend.
“Honestly, those other girls never compared to you. Maybe I put you on a pedestal. This girl who was my best friend. Who was gorgeous, wild, and free. I wanted to recapture that, but those girls weren’t the same.” Nico glances my way, and I blush at his compliments.
Exhaling, I glance out the window.
“When the horsemen started to take over, I went into lockdown mode. I couldn’t go to their parties when we were in middle school, so I kind of snuck by them.” Pushing my hair out of my face, I turn to him. “I didn’twant to add to their numbers. I didn’t want to be one of those girls who was proud the horsemen fucked them. It just seemed like the horsemen used those girls, like those girls were some sort of reward for their hard work.”
“And now?” Nico pulls onto my street.
I blow out a breath. “I don’t know. At the beginning, it seemed like they were using me to finish their list. But then they wanted toownme for the whole year, but how can I trust them to want me all year? Especially after they get what they want from me.”
Nico stops in my driveway and puts the car into park. “And what do you think we want from you?”
My breath catches on thewe. It’s so hard to remember he’s one of them. But he’s also mine. But where does his loyalty stand if he’s tested? Will he stay with me or go with them?
“Promise not to tell them?” I hold up my pinkie finger, hoping our bond is stronger.
His face softens, and he holds up his pinkie finger to wrap around mine. “Promise.”
I inhale. “They want my virginity, but once they have it, what will keep them with me? I think I’m starting to like them more than I used to, and the thought of them with another girl makes me feel queasy. But once they get the prize, what will be left for them? The novelty of a girl who will let all of them have her at the same time. I know they’ll want to continue to have sex with me, but how long will that last?”
Nico takes my hand in his, and his dark eyes hold me. “You’ve got it all wrong, sunshine. Your virginity isn’t the prize. You are.”
What? “That doesn’t make sense.” I start to take my hand away.
“We all want you.” His hand refuses to release mine.
“They don’t even know me,” I spit out. “They know my body, but they don’t know me.”
“Then stop hiding yourself from them.” Nico’s other hand tips my chin up. “I think they already suspect you’re this amazing girl. You’re just afraid to let them in. To let us in. You’re afraid if you let us in, even if we see the real you, we might leave you.”
I draw in a shuddering breath. “It’s not unreasonable to think that.”
He smiles, and his thumb traces over my bottom lip. “You’re right. You have to trust all of us. And maybe at some point you will. But youcan trust me when I say I’m here for you. I want you. The girl with the skinned knees and the potty mouth. The fearless girl who climbed to the top of the tree just to beat me. I want the girl who would call me on my shit.”
I smile and roll my eyes. “I’m not that girl anymore?—”
“Yes, you are. And even though I hate to say it, I think that’s the girl they want too. They want you, Harper. Probably as much as I do. I’m not saying you have to give in to what you feel for us, but consider there may be more to this than just sex.”
“It certainly feels like it’s about sex.” I raise an eyebrow at him to see if he’ll try to deny it. Luke and Caden keep asking when I’ll give in. Like I can put a date on losing my virginity.
He presses his lips against mine. Gentle and tender. “We want you. Yes. And being guys, our dicks like to lead us sometimes, but there’s plenty of other pussy out there. It’s not just the challenge we want. Though that’s part of who you are. You’re fun and spontaneous and willing to try almost anything. You’re amazingly brave, and your heart is worth whatever fight I have to deal with to win it.”
“This is crazy,” I whisper. That I might be enough for them is insanity. That the cravings they stir in me are what they feel for me.
“I know they’re all pressuring you to give in, but it’s not all part of the game, sunshine. A huge part of it is we all want to enjoy fucking you. A lot.” Nico’s dark eyes sparkle with mischief as he looks at me. I throb between my legs at the heat in his eyes.
“No one’s ever tried to make a play for my virginity. I can’t just give in after a little over a week. Where’s the fun in that?” Smiling, I tap my finger against his lips. “I need to go get changed. I’ll see you later?”
“Count on it.”
