“You don’t think I know that?—”
“Of course I do, but what you aren’t seeing is how he affects Caden. We’ve kept him out of Caden’s path to make sure he doesn’t break.”
“That’s what I was trying to do.” I move in close to Jack. “I couldn’t do anything about the assignment, but I could try to protect Caden from finding out. I could keep Tanner away and make sure Caden didn’t get arrested. I saw how angry he was that day at my house. If I could, I’d beat up Tanner myself, but that’s not an option.”
Jack smiles and shakes his head. His finger brushes the tears off my cheeks. “Not an option. We want to protect you. But we knew when we claimed you, it made you a target. You make us vulnerable, because we’ll do anything to make sure no one hurts you.”
I draw in a breath. Everything he says makes sense, but I don’t know if it’s because I’m so damned emotional right now. He sounds sincere, like he’s not blowing smoke up my ass.
My cheeks flush with heat. I meet his eyes. “Would you have?”
“What, sweetheart?” Jack tips his head as he looks at me.
I take a deep breath, not sure I want the answer. “If I rang the bell and didn’t answer Caden, would you have fucked my ass?”
He releases a breath. “No, sweetheart. Consent is important. And yeah, I could make an argument you ringing the bell is consent, but you’re ours. You’re mine.”
My breath catches as he presses a kiss to my lips.
“While we’ve claimed you, you’re still Harper Davidson. You have a right to your own thoughts and the right to decide when you’re ready to take the next step.” He grins mischievously. “Even if we enjoy pushing you to make those decisions. I need you to feel safe with me. To know that I’ll protect you from the outside. That when you’re ready, I’m fully prepared to take that ass, but not until you beg for it.”
Like gears shifting inside me, something falls into place as I search Jack’s eyes. It’s too much. I can’t let myself believe they’re mine because, when it comes down to it, I’m just their toy. Nico proved that earlier. I don’t have the bond they have as teammates, as friends, as brothers.
I snuggle into Jack and let him comfort me because I need this. I take the comfort, though it’s fleeting. That feeling of someone caring for me. That feeling of belonging. But then I’ll tuck it all away, because I can’t have it. Not with these guys.
I want them, but not just a piece of them. That’s all they have to give me. If I believed these guys could love me, maybe I’d be willing to open my heart. They give me little glimpses of something more, but I’m not one of them.
A piece of me wants more and won’t settle for less. But for this year, I’ve agreed to be theirs. At the end of this, I’ll have to find a way to move on. Without them.
CHAPTER 68
The First Shot
Harper
Hope is such a fickle bitch. A few days ago, I had hope this might be something more, and now it’s gone. Now they’re just the assholes who own me. Who toy with my heart whenever it helps them get what they want. I’m on my own.
Today is just another day. I wake up, shower, and get ready for school… alongside three guys. Who, while they aren’t being grabby this morning, are definitely touchy. I’m sore, which isn’t surprising given how many times they fucked me last night.
There’s this dull ache inside, and my heart hurts, but I can’t let them know I’m a little broken today. Jack doesn’t mention me crying last night to the others.
Caden keeps giving me dissecting looks, but Jack maneuvers me away from him. We didn’t finish what we started last night. I apparently checked out before he got what he wanted. Though I wouldn’t have given him those words.
I didn’t do anything wrong. They’re just controlling asshats who need to know my every move. And I was doing it to protecthim. Fuck that.
Luke is almost pleasant this morning, which is kind of freaking me out. It’s little things, like handing me a towel and caressing my hip.Though everyone had plenty of orgasms last night, so maybe he’s just satisfied. For now.
He watches me like any moment I’m going to break. It’s disconcerting.
“Come on, sweetheart. You’re beautiful.” Jack leans in the doorway while I finish putting on my makeup. I’m wearing Eli’s jersey and a skirt I wish was jeans right now. This is the problem with packing before knowing what the evening would bring. I wish I had a chastity belt instead, because I have a feeling this aching pain won’t go away anytime soon.
My gaze locks with Jack’s in the mirror. I swallow at the kindness in his eyes. It’s a lie. This is all a lie. I have to keep telling myself that. I have to make myself believe it.
Grabbing my stuff, I pack my bag. Tonight, I’m sleeping in my bed. If they want to camp out in my house, so be it, but I’m sleeping alone.
Jack’s hand catches my hip as I try to slip past him. I stop and wait for whatever he’s going to do. He tips my chin up and searches my eyes.
“You okay?” He says it so softly tears choke me.
