I wake up groggy and disoriented. The room is dark, and I’m pressed between two hot bodies. That part is becoming more and more familiar. I slide down the bed to go to the bathroom.
After using the toilet, I brush my teeth and wash my face. Thankfully, someone brought my bag up here. My pussy aches, and not in the I-need-to-be-fucked way.
Erotic images flood my mind. Fuck. Little nympho, indeed. I feel a little weird, not because of the sex, but almost like I’m hungover.
I sit on the toilet lid and try to sort through what happened. It’s like I was there but not there. Every orgasm hit pain and pleasure at the same time, until pain and pleasure blurred, and it felt euphoric. It was a heady sensation, but now I just feel a little lost.
A tear falls onto my hand. What the fuck? I’ve been through a lot. Public humiliation. Girl fights that aren’t actually fights. Someone puncturing my tire and freaking me out at night.
This is nothing in the grand scheme of everything that’s happened. I wanted to come. I wanted them to fuck me. So why do I just want to curl up and cry?
The bathroom door opens, and Jack glances around until he spots me.
“Hey, sweetheart.” His tone is soft and tender, and it makes a sob well in my throat.
I press the back of my hand to my mouth, but the sound escapes. Jack kneels before me and wraps his arms around me.
“It’s okay. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s not permanent. It’s just the crash after the high.” Jack’s words make sense to some rational part of my mind.
I wrap around him, lowering to the floor to be as close to him as possible. He’s wearing boxers, and I don’t even know where my panties are. Sex is the last thing on my mind. My pussy is sore, and wave after wave of sadness flows through me. He moves us back until he can rest against the wall.
Holding me so tight, he strokes his hand over my hair and down my back. The tears fall faster, like I have no control over them. He makes little soothing noises as he holds me close.
I swipe at the tears, aware we need to return to bed. It has to be late. We have school tomorrow.
Pulling back, I look into his eyes. “Why are you here, Jack? Why didn’t you go home?”
He brushes my hair out of my face and wipes away the tears. “Because you needed me.”
Tears well again, but this time I laugh. “I can’t seem to stop crying.”
“I know.” He searches my eyes. “It’ll get better.”
I rest my head against his heart as he strokes my hair.
“I’ve never experienced subspace, but I’ve read about it.” His voice is low to not wake the others, but it rumbles through his chest beneath my ear. It’s soothing. “Like our brains shut off our pain receptors or some shit. It’s dangerous during rough sex because your brain stops distinguishing between pain and pleasure. It all just feels fucking amazing, and chemicals flood your brain.”
I sigh and listen to his heartbeat.
“The other side is when you finally rest and come down, your brain misses the hits it was getting. Subdrop. It can be like depression or just a down day. That’s why it’s important to stay close to someone after subspace.”
I lift my head to look into Jack’s pretty blue eyes. “Is that why you stayed?”
Suddenly it’s the most important question. I need to know theanswer. Yes, these guys are all assholes, but they don’t always treat me like their personal sex toy. My heart stalls as I wait for him.
“Yeah, Harper. I stayed for you. To make sure you were taken care of, and because you reached out to me. It’s not like I’ll get in trouble. I’ll tell my folks I fell asleep at Caden’s watching a movie.” Jack cups my cheek and searches my eyes again. A little crease forms between his brows.
I take a deep breath, knowing he’s seeing more than I want him to right now. He’s seeing the gaping loneliness that loves that these guys pay attention to me now. That their sole focus is on me.
“That whole thing with Caden…” Jack sighs.
I start to draw away, but Jack holds me.
“You’re important to him. I know you don’t believe me, but I’ve known him all my life. When he claims you, that’s it for him. He’s loyal and fierce. And he claimed me a long time ago, and the other guys, but he’s never claimed a girl before. He’s never wanted just one girl. You may think he’s doing this to have sex with you, but he’s all in.”
My heart pounds against my ribs at every word spilling out of Jack’s mouth.
“Tanner is a problem. He won’t go away quietly like some guys. He’s angry and bitter.”
