I held onto it in case he needed it again. “I should not wish to see you laugh when it causes so much trouble, but I admit, I have missed that sound.”
He scrunched his nose. “Trouble or not, I cannot march toward my death with complete solemnness. If I cannot laugh, then what reason do I have to live?”
“Well, there is your family to consider.”
At this, he grinned. “Ah, my darling Annette. Forgive me for being so crass. Of course, I’ve no wish to make this harder on all of you than it already is. I do not mean to make light of the circumstances. You must understand, however, it is exhausting to sit with sorrow day-in and day-out.”
I rested a hand on his shoulder. “I understand.”
“Good. Now, tell me about you and our guest.”
This was not what I had come to speak with him about, nor did I understand why he was so intent on the subject. But if it would ease us into the topic I had come to discuss with him, I would oblige. “There is not much to tell.”
“I find that hard to believe. I have eyes everywhere, you know. Rumor has it you’ve spoken at length with the man. Even let him see you in quite the state in the stables.”
I bit back a laugh. The servants at Kenwick were loyal…to my father. “Perhaps, I did.”
“You will shock the man, my dear. I hope you have eased him into your disregard for propriety.”
“More like shoved him head-first into a mud puddle.”
Father laughed, this time without coughing. He had never chided me for my unladylike behavior. In fact, he encouraged it at times.
“Ah, my fierce girl,” he said. “I expected nothing less. But mud? Good heavens.”
“Not literally, Father. Although, a little mud is good for the soul.”
“Right you are. But tell me honestly now, have the two of you been cordial?”
“We have been…mostly cordial. I confess I may not have been on my best behavior when he first arrived.”
Father chuckled again, but it was more controlled this time. “Yes, your mother mentioned the tart incident. She was quite livid about the whole of it, but I begged her to leave you be. Interference would only make you dig your heels in—make you resent the man more, however fake that resentment may be.”
I pulled back with indignation. “I will have you know my dislike of the lieutenant was completely genuine.”
“Was it?” The way his eyes twinkled suggested he did not believe me.
“Yes,” I reassured. “He was always teasing me in Town. The man was insufferable.”
Father hummed, rubbing his bearded chin. That he had facial hair at all was a testament to his health. He had never been one to allow stubble to linger. “It is interesting that you speak in past tense when asserting your dislike.Wasgenuine.Wasteasing.Wasinsufferable. Has the nature of your relationship changed?”
My heart skipped a beat, eager to explore that question. Far, far too eager. “We are simply more cordial than we used to be. Do not read into it. In fact, one of the reasons for my visit is to discuss our agreement. The one we made before leaving for Town.”
“Oh?” He tilted his head, curiosity raising his graying brows.
“You promised to release my dowry to me as an inheritance, remember? I have hesitated to ask, given the circumstances, but I’ve recently learned of Ed—Lieutenant Paget’s determination to see reform and to pursue abolition. I find the cause a worthy one and would like to offer my support to him.”
Father frowned. “I see.”
Did he not approve of my desire to support Edward? Or support his cause, rather. It made little sense to me. Father himself was a staunch proponent for abolition. So why did he seem to disapprove?
“I had hoped…” Father trailed off and went quiet for several moments. “But there is still time for that, I suppose. Regardless, I must disappoint you. Our agreement was that I would hand off control of your dowry if you entertained suitors in Town.”
“Which I did,” I interjected. “Many of them. Thanks to Russell.” I muttered the last part.
“Indeed, you did, but have you forgotten the rest of my stipulations?”
“If I remained unwed,” I offered. “Naturally, that clause only makes sense. Had I married, my dowry would have gone to my husband. But as you can see, I survived Town without being chained to some miserable soul.”
