Another controlled chuckle escaped Father. “Miserable? Oh, darling, no man who won your heart and hand would be miserable. But I digress. You needed to remain unwed, true enough, but the timeframe has not yet passed.”
My jaw dropped, and I spluttered. “But…but we have left Town. We’ve been in Kent for months.”
“And I specifically stated the condition was if you are not wed bythe end of the year, if you’ll recall. We are still months from that.”
My stomach sank. Had he said that? I replayed the conversation over in my mind. As much as I wished to deny it, I could not. Father had marked the end of the year as his timeframe, but for some reason, I had gotten it into my head that, after the Season concluded, I was as good as free. After all, I would not be courting anyone in Kent. I had known the gentleman who resided nearby for most of my life, and none of them had interested me before. None of them had shown interest in me, either.
Slumping against the chair, I stared unseeingly at the fire glowing in the hearth across from us. How had I miscalculated to this extent? It was only a few months more, yet I felt as if the thing I wanted most had been snatched from my grasp.
“Allow me to reassure you, Annette,” Father said softly. “My solicitor is aware of our agreement. You will receive what I promised should the stipulations be met; however, there is still time for you to marry before then. I remain hopeful.”
Hopeful? I met his gaze, and the sinking sensation in my stomach intensified. Surely, he did not mean... But, yes. He did mean precisely what I feared. The only way he could possibly say that is if he hoped I would marry our current guest. “You invited the lieutenant here for that purpose. You wish for us to marry.”
Father smiled guiltily. “I shan’t lie to you.”
“Father! I cannot marry him,” I countered, the words filled with a sardonic laughter. “We would never suit. We argue all the time. He vexes me, and I him. We quite heartily loathe one another.”
Did we not? I was no longer certain. At one time, perhaps I could have claimed it, but having come to understand him—to truly see him and know him—I no longer felt the prick of displeasure in his company. His teasing still irked me, but I found entertainment in countering it with my own. What was more, the man’s passionate resolve to end slavery spoke to my soul. If any man could understand my aversion to marriage, it was one who fought ardently to preserve the freedom of others.
Only such a man could convince me to forgo my independence.
My pulse pounded in my ears. Father had known this—perhaps anticipated it, even. He knew how I cherished my independence and had prepared to counter my resolve with a man he believed would never take it from me. But was he correct? Would Edward, as a husband, respect his wife? Would he allow her freedom and support her in all endeavors rather than belittle and berate? A feeling deep inside me insisted it was so, but how could I trust it?
Margaret had trusted Mr. Wilcot.
Ihad trusted him.
We had both been wrong.
Warmth spread over my hand when Father rested his over mine. “I have shocked you, I think.”
“No…no, I…very well, you have shocked me to a degree.”
“You do not seem wholly put out with the possibility of marrying the lieutenant,” he observed.
“I am too confused to have a proper opinion.”
He laughed, bringing on a bout of coughing. I offered him the remainder of the water, and once he had finished, he settled against his pillows, exhaustion marring his features. “My greatest desire is that my family is cared for when I leave this world. Whatever you decide, I want you to be happy. Consider the possibilities. Do not rush to dismiss any of them.”
The pleading in his voice sent a pang through my chest. Standing, I leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “I will, Father. I promise.”
Chapter eighteen
Annette
Marrythelieutenant?Nomatter how I strove to put the idea from my mind, it followed me like a moaning ghost desperate for attention. Never had I struggled to put off any consideration for marriage. Why did the idea refuse to leave me now? Nothing had changed. I still aimed for independence. I still needed my inheritance to do it, but I was willing to wait a few months for that. The only stick in my path was Edward Paget.
Confound that man! He might as well be a pebble in my shoe for how often he proved an irritating inconvenience. And yet, somehow, I had come to actuallylikethat blasted pebble. Ridiculous.
I shoved my breakfast away from me, my desire to eat fleeting. What I needed was time away from the castle to clear my head. Surely the fresh air would rid me of these insane notions to consider Father’s words. Ihadpromised to consider them, but hadn’t I done that enough in the hour since speaking with him?
I pursed my lips and exhaled heavily.
“You are pouting like a petulant child again,” said Russell from the opposite side of the table, where he lathered a piece of bread with jam. “That glare could sour milk.”
I resisted the urge to grab something from my plate and throw it at him. That would only prove his point about the petulance. “If you were being pressured into marriage, you would not present such a riant demeanor.”
Russell scoffed. “You are wrong on that front, for I am being pressured to do that very thing. I simply do not allow it to weigh me down.” He shrugged. “When I am ready to marry, I shall. As of yet, the desire escapes me.”
