I am calm and at peace.
Repeating them over and over, feeling my heart rate slow and the pre-flight jitters fading away.
A bell pinged in the lounge area. “Flight 363 to Briar Glenn is now boarding. The one p.m. flight to Briar Glenn is now boarding.”
“That’s us, buddy,” I whispered to Remi, hoisting his carrier over my shoulder.
He responded with a desolate wail of discomfort, relaying exactly how he felt about being stuffed in his carrier again.
The flight attendant smiled wide and scanned my ticket. “Have a safe flight.”
She was too chipper for the sadness I was feeling, but I forced myself to mumble thanks.
I walked down the jetway and through the door of the plane. A small smile curved up my lips at the memory of Alistair ducking his head to accommodate his horns while he passed through the low entrance.
I rushed to my seat, the tears threatening to fall and ruin my mascara.
Remi yowled with displeasure when I slipped him under the seat.
“I know, buddy,” I reassured him. “We’ll be home soon.”
I fastened my seatbelt, and once the plane was boarded and the attendant had gone over the safety spiel, we moved down the runway.
This was what I’d come to dislike. The takeoff and landing.
The plane began to rumble, hopping off the runway as it picked up speed.
Shit.
I gripped the armrests, squeezing my eyes shut and gritting my teeth so hard my jaw hurt.
I inhale peace and exhale worry.
I can do hard things.
I am calm and at peace.
Maybe if I told myself enough times, I’d believe it. Just like I’d come to believe that I was worthy of romance—that I was worthy of love.
He was so close to saying it.
But maybe he didn’t need to.
He showed me every day.
The weightless feeling of being in the air swept over me, and I loosened my grip on the armrest.
Peeking out the window, I watched as Colorado grew smaller until it disappeared beneath the cloud cover completely.
Just like that, he was gone.
Tears tracked down my cheeks, taking my mascara with them.
Whatever fantasy I’d been living in for the past week was over. I was leaving—and I was leaving a part of my heart behind.
* * *
“Mom!”Tegan jumped out of the car and wrapped me in a huge hug.
