“Shh,” he murmured, his soft lips caressing my face. “Let’s just enjoy it. Just be in the moment with me, Pam.”
Just be in the moment with me, Pam.
I couldn’t remember the last time I was asked to be present. Or was the center of someone’s moment.
I sank down into Al, doing as he asked. We sat there with me snuggled on his lap, not speaking, just feeling our hearts beat and listening to one another breathe.
SIX
ALISTAIR
“I am tomorrow, or some future day, what I establish today. I am today what I established yesterday or some previous day.” - James Joyce
“Pam,” I whispered when I heard a knock at the door. “Pam, I have to move you. The food is here.” In the thirty minutes we’d been waiting for our take-out order, she’d fallen asleep on my chest, and I hadn’t had the heart to wake her. She was so peaceful. It was adorable.
“Okay.” She sighed, rolling off me and onto the couch.
I gave her leg a tiny caress before getting up to answer the door.
A lanky, college-aged kid greeted me when I opened it. “Delivery for Alistair.”
“Yep, that’s me.”
He passed me the food. “Thanks for the tip. Have a great day, man.”
“You too.”
Pam was still on the couch where I’d left her, so I wandered around the house looking for her kitchen. Her place was so cozy. Family photos covered the hallway walls, and I stopped to get a better look at them.
There were tons of pictures of her kids: Reece standing tall with a trophy from a softball tournament, Tegan riding a pony, both kids enjoying ice cream cones as they dripped down their hands.
There were also some photos ofhimwith the kids.
Her late husband, Don.
In most of the pictures, he had an ugly scowl on his face. He wasn’t an unattractive guy—he was actually pretty handsome—but I got a sense from the photos that he had an ugly personality. It made me sad all over again that Pam had spent so many years of her life with him when the short period of time I had with her was slipping away.
All I knew was if I’d had a woman like that as my wife, I would have treated her how she deserved to be treated. I would have let her know every day how lucky I was to have her in my life. Pam Rollins was really something else.
Remi rubbed against my leg.
“Hey there, little buddy. Where’s the kitchen in this place?” I knew some people thought talking to animals like they were people and asking them questions was silly. But I’d always found them to be understanding and responsive in their own way.
Remi proved my point, weaving through my legs and leading me down the hall to the left—straight to the kitchen.
“That’s a smart boy,” I said, scratching him under the chin.
Gods, maybe if I had a cat, my life wouldn’t be so lonely.
I sat the food on the kitchen table, then searched through the cabinets and drawers. When I had our places set and the food laid out, I went to wake up Pam.
She looked beautiful as she slept there on the couch. The warm glow of the late afternoon sun slipped through the blinds, highlighting her hair a brilliant ruby red. I thought about taking a picture but decided against it. It was sort of creepy to do something like that, especially on the first date. Instead, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, committing the way she looked to memory, vowing I’d never forget.
“Pam,” I whispered. “Pam, the food is here.” I ran my hand over her leg, giving it a gentle shake.
Her eyes fluttered open, vibrant emeralds peeking up at me from beneath heavy eyelids. “Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I was just really comfortable. You’re so warm.”
She had nothing to apologize for. I loved that she felt comfortable enough with me to fall asleep in my lap. It had been such a long time since I’d shared a moment like that with someone. “There’s nothing to be sorry about, sweetheart.” I extended my hand out to her. “Come on, let’s eat. Remi is in the kitchen waiting for us.”
