“Well, hello, Arleta dear,” Rosetta greets in a high-flatulent tone that instantly grinds my gears and increases my blood pressure.
This bitch! Lord, please give me strength. Guard my heart. Safeguard my mind.
Rosetta is the only one who calls me by my middle name, and I hate it with a passion. I’m not sure where she got the name from, but I wish she had chosen something else.
“Hi, Rosetta,” I say in a dry tone and roll my eyes hard enough for them to get stuck.
My gaze lands on Jandra, who gives me a mean glare, and I sit up before sitting Indian style. Paula stands and takes my flutebefore she heads to the kitchen to refill my beverage, already understanding the assignment.
“I think I’m coming in for a visit, so you need to clear your schedule for like a week or two. I mean, nothing or no one is more important than me anyway.”
Wait, what the hell?
I pull the phone from my ear and turn it over a couple of times before placing it back against my ear.
“I’m sorry. Can-uh—can you say that again?”
“Oh, stop being dramatic, Arleta. You heard me. Don’t you think it’s time I grace you with my remarkable presence? I shed the weight you forced me to gain, got a booty lift, and am dating someone new. My life is perfect, so I guess I need to let you see how well it’s been treating me.”
My eyes sting with unshed tears, and my brain stalls as I process the offensive and dismissive words coming from Rosetta’s lips. I have lost count of how many years it’s been since Rosetta has been to the city or shown any interest in seeing me. Rosetta has prevented me from seeing her on FaceTime or any social media platforms, so I wouldn’t be able to pick her out of a lineup, even if it required saving my life. Air and static in my ears make it difficult for me to focus on the words that continue to spill from Rosetta’s mouth. My stomach rolls, my heartbeat becomes sluggish, and tingles enter my chest, which makes my breathing challenging.
“Alright, Arleta. I’m glad you got a chance to hear my voice. I’ll text you when I arrive.” With that, the call disconnects, and tears slip from the corners of my eyes as my brain freezes.
“Damn it. I should have taken her fucking phone the minute she uttered that bitch’s name.” Jandra’s voice sounds far away, yet I’m unable to respond or react.
I rock back and forth with my arms around my body as a chime from my phone has me clutching it tight enough to break.It’s rare that Rosetta will call and text me within minutes, but with her, anything is possible. When a second chime sounds, I unclench my hand while I lift the phone with shaky hands. Zakai. Two new texts from Zakai are at the top of my screen, and my chest tightens before I sigh and open them.
Zakai:
Hey, Ziya. This is me missing you.
I can’t wait to see you put that shit on tonight. I’ll be there at seven fifteen. I’ll see you then.
“I-I-I—” My words get caught in my throat as Zakai’s cheery words hit me like a missile in my chest.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I type a reply that I can’t help but also causes an ache in my chest.
Me:
I’m so sorry. I have to cancel for tonight. I’m sick.
The lie rolls off my fingers more easily than I would like, but there’s no way I can tell Zakai about what’s going on. So it seems easier to tell him about a fake illness than the truth. I have shared a few details with him about Rosetta and her decision not to raise me. But I didn’t give him any of the gory and painstaking information that still buckles my legs and fractures the chambers in my heart. Today’s phone call has memories flooding through my mind, and I feel like I’m in a time warp of hell. A single chime causes my eyes to zoom in on the new message from Zakai.
Zakai:
What’s wrong? Do I need to bring you something to get you right? Don’t worry about the party. I’m more concerned about you.
More water falls from my eyes at the concern and quick reply from Zakai as he tries to determine how to aid in my recovery. My heart aches, and an intense pain spreads across my chest, causing me to rub circles around the area. I type another response as heaviness settles in my stomach, and it flips in a violent spasm.
Me:
No. I don’t want you to get infected because it would impact Zakiyah, and that’s a non-starter for me. I’ll be okay. I’m just going to try to sleep it off.
Once my fingers stop gliding over the keys, I exit the thread, put my phone on do not disturb, and silence my ringtone before I lock the screen. A sob from the pit of my belly makes its way out of my mouth nearly shifting my posture from its intensity. The heaviness in my chest, knots in my stomach, and the inability to fill my lungs have me in a chokehold.
“Okay. Okay,” Jandra says before I feel her arms wrap around me.
The urge to sleep, drink, or numb the emotions coursing through my body becomes weighty the longer Jandra holds me. I feel bad about not going through with the date Zakai had planned. But right now, all I’m capable of is endless tears. To most people, the call from Rosetta may not seem like a big deal. But for me, it reminds me of her lack of maternal bone or concern for the life she brought into this world. To know thatthe person who should love me first and most is the one who dismisses me and treats me like an inconvenient pimple, hurts like hell. That thought has me pull back from Jandra to make a request.
