“Wanna talk about it?”
“It’s only shit with Reed. No matter what I do, he’s always stuck in my head.”
I was surprised I’d said that, and that must have shown on my face because Danny frowned and made a sympathetic sound I’d never heard before. “I’m sorry, that’s bollocks.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“You two were together for a long time, though, right?” he asked as the oven beeped, and he stepped away to finish getting our dinner ready to go in, rummaging in the bag I’d brought to pull out the mozzarella to shred over the top in huge chunks.
“Ten years.”
“That’s shitty, but I dunno, maybe not surprising? Like, even if you wanted to snap your fingers and erase those memories, you’d probably end up losing huge chunks of your life too. I think, when you’re with someone for that long, you end up being a big part of each other and that’s not something you can easily forget. That’s traumatic shit! And it probably makes it worse because you thought it was forever, and then he cheated, so all those nice memories you had of him, that whole part of your life, gets tainted. Like, it’s all poisoned now, and the shit part is you either have to make peace with it in some way or let it fester and get worse.”
He said it so casually, as if he hadn’t managed to completely nail down my feelings in less than two minutes. He hadn’t even been looking at me either. It had been an offhanded train of thought made while putting our dinner on.
It threw me for a second, and I stared into space as I tried to process everything he’d said.
I couldn’t find any words; everything was all too jumbled. But as Danny stood up and closed the oven door, I put my arms out and pulled him into a crushing hug, burying my face in his neck and taking a deep breath. “Thank you.”
“It’s okay,” he said as he squeezed me tightly. “This shit sucks, but I’m always around if you wanna talk about it.”
“You shouldn’t have to listen to my shit, though.”
“Why not? Do you have anyone else to listen to you?”
“I have Shane and Eric,” I said, still talking into his shoulder. “And they’ve listened to me a lot. They’re probably fucking sick of me at this point. Also, Shane hates Reed—justifiably, since he was the one I called when everything went down—so sometimes I think he might be too close to it. I don’t know. It’s a shitshow at this point.”
I stood up and sighed, running my hand through my hair. Danny was looking at me with that cute, inquisitive puppy face, the same one he wore when he wanted to ask questions but was trying not to. “You can ask.”
“I dunno if I’ve actually got anything to ask,” he said. “But my offer still stands. You can vent to me. And then we can have sex afterwards. That’ll make you feel better.” I snorted and Danny’s expression transformed into that beautiful, bratty incredulity. “What? It’s a great plan! Sex with me makes everything better.”
“You know, for someone who actively tried to throw yourself under the bus by telling me how shit you were in bed so I’d pity fuck you, your confidence is astounding.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“No,” I said, lifting my head so I could meet his gaze. “No, it’s really not. I’m proud of you. And I love that you’re feeling good and enjoying yourself.”
“Mmm, with you, it’s difficult not to.” He ran his hand over my chest and tugged the front of my shirt, pulling me in for a hungry kiss. “You get me so hard, Ezra. Every time I think about you I’m instantly horny. Do you know how difficult that is to deal with? Like in the middle of training I suddenly think about you and boom, instant boner! It’s like I’m sixteen all over again.”
“Poor puppy,” I said, nipping his lip before kissing him. “Are you suffering?”
“Yes!”
“We could get you a cock cage? Help you control yourself.”
“Absolutely the fuck not. You can fuck off with that idea.”
“I suppose you have a better one?”
“Yeah, you fuck me every single day. Toys, your mouth, your dick, your fingers—I’m not picky! I just want you to make me come.”
“I’ll think about it,” I said, my mind already whirring with ideas of how Danny could get himself off for me every morning. And we could make his fantasy of being filmed come true too.
He kissed me again, his touch heated and full of desire. “Have you decided yet?” he asked as he pulled away.
“No.”
“Aw, what? You’ve had loads of time.”
