“Fuck me, that sounds good,” Danny said, casually pinching the dish out of my hands and striding off towards the kitchen. “I’ll put the oven on.”
I chuckled and shook my head affectionately at him, the warm, soft spot inside my chest that Danny had wormed himself into glowing slightly. It was adorable how happy he was about me bringing him food. He didn’t even know if it was any good. I could have been a shit cook for all he knew.
I wasn’t, but that was beside the point.
“Don’t you want to know what else I’ve got?” I asked, readjusting my bag as I followed him through. The TV was paused, and I realised Danny had been watching another of his beloved reality shows. He’d been trying to introduce me to them, and despite my resistance I had gone back and binged both seasons ofAmerica’s Sweetheartsand was halfway through the first season ofLove is Blind.
“There’s more? Is it just vodka?”
“No, actually. I’m trying to drink less.”
“What is it then?”
“Cheesecake.”
“Fuck yes! I am totally sucking your dick later,” he said, shooting me a wink as I stepped into his spotless kitchen. The first time I’d been here, I’d wondered if Danny had cleaned just for me, but now I knew it was always like this. Deep cleaning was apparently one of Danny’s preferred ways to relax. Although it seemed like his new-found love for sucking cock might replace that very soon.
“You know, you don’t have to give me a blow job just because I brought you food,” I said as I slid my arms around his waist and kissed the side of his neck.
“Yeah, I know. But what if I want to do it anyway?”
“Then you’re very welcome to.” I kissed his neck again and smirked as Danny moaned quietly. He was so sensitive and there was nothing hotter than seeing how quickly he reacted to my touch. “Or we can watch one of your terrible shows and you can warm my cock while we watch?”
“Is that, like, me having your cock in my mouth while we watch but not trying to get you off?”
“Basically, yes. Would you like to try that? I know how much you like having something in your mouth.”
“Yeah.” Danny nodded, groaning as he leant back against me, his head resting on my shoulder. “I wanna try that. Was thinking about coming into your office to do that whenever I’m stressed.”
“That would be very hot,” I said, trailing more kisses up his neck. “We’ll try it tonight and see if you like it. Then maybe we can try it in my office one day when everyone else has left for the day.”
“Fuck yes.”
I smiled and kissed the side of his face, just beside his ear. “You’ve had a haircut,” I said, noticing the side and front of his mullet had been trimmed and tidied. “It looks good.”
“Thanks. I was thinking about getting rid of the mullet, but I don’t know if I’m ready yet. I still kinda like it.”
“Keep the mullet for as long as you want. It suits you. You’re the only person I’ve ever met who can make a mullet and moustache look sexy.”
He grinned as he turned his face to look at me. “I’m so keeping it then. Everyone always says it looks shit and that I’ll never get laid with it, but now I have proof it’s not true.”
“Definitely not true. You’ve been getting fucked a lot.”
“Mmm, well, I can’t help it. Your dick is just too good. And I’ve never had a proper slut era, so I’m going to have one now. Only with your dick, though, ’cos I don’t fancy going to find another. Besides, someone else might be shit at sex and that would suck.”
“And someone else might not put up with your brattiness either,” I said with a low chuckle before kissing him, trying to ignore the storm of butterflies taking flight in my chest. They were getting worse, more of them appearing every time I was with Danny… or messaged Danny… or thought about Danny… Fuck, they seemed to double in number every day no matter what I did.
I didn’t want these feelings, not because I didn’t like Danny but because I wasn’t ready for them. And every time I’d experienced them, I always got hurt.
Danny wasn’t anything like Reed—at least, he didn’t seem to be. But the emotions and the butterflies were the same I’d felt during the early days with Reed, and now all I could think about was how that had ended.
The logical part of my brain told me there was no way to know if things would end the same. That there were millions of different paths this thing with Danny could take, and we both had choices in how it played out. Nothing was fixed. Nothing was certain.
But that still didn’t stop fear from creeping in around the edges and whispering that no matter what happened, I wasalways going to be alone. That I was too selfish and self-absorbed to find someone who’d put up with me.
“You okay?” Danny asked, standing up slightly and turning in my arms to face me, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“Yeah, sorry. Just thinking.”
