“Sorry, Hannah and I were just chatting about some upcoming dates,” I said, sliding the vegetable platter onto the table. There was still quite a lot of food left, which surprised me. “Help yourselves to food. I don’t want anything left.”
“Oh, we weren’t sure if it was for the kids,” West said.
“Nope, it’s all up for grabs,” I said. “Just don’t eat the birthday cake.”
“It looks amazing,” Devon said, wasting no time picking up a paper plate and handing a second to Jonny. “I’d have loved a cake like that.”
“I can get you one this year if you want,” Jonny said with a smile.
“Don’t tempt me!”
“Oh, are we getting food?” Danny asked, appearing behind Devon with a grin. “That cake is amazing by the way! I love it!”
“Thanks,” I said. “But I did nothing. Harper ordered it.”
“It’s so cool,” Danny said with a nod at Harper.
“Thanks.” Harper smiled brightly and I almost melted. “You should have seen Jack’s face when he saw it. I thought he was going to explode.”
“He nearly did.” I stepped back to allow them more access to the buffet, hoping the word would spread and a few more parents would help themselves. Maybe we’d overdone it a bit, but I hadn’t been sure whether I was supposed to feed everyone or not since it had varied at all the other parties I’d been to with Jack, and I hadn’t wanted anyone to go hungry.
The cake really was a masterpiece, though, perfectly mashing up the Halloween-dinosaur theme with a white chocolate T-Rex skeleton on the top embedded in dirt made of chocolate cake. The baker had pressed more white chocolate bones around the side of the cake and even piped a few ghosts in white buttercream, each of them wearing a little party hat with green and orange stripes.
“Is everything okay?” Harper asked casually, his eyes on Jack and the other kids.
“Yeah.” I knew I had to tell him, but this was not the time or place. “I was just thinking we should get some photos of Jack with Sally before we do the cake. Otherwise he’ll get distracted. Then once we’ve done the cake, people can always head off. But if anyone does want to stay, they’re welcome to. It’s a nice afternoon, so the kids can play in the garden for a bit.”
“Sounds good to me,” Harper said. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, fine.” I smiled but I knew he’d see through it. “Now’s not the right time. We can talk later. Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad.”
“Well, now I’m going to worry.”
“You don’t need to.”
He gave me a long look. “Okay, I trust you.”
I wished he hadn’t said that because there was no way I deserved it. But there was no going back now, only forwards.
The rest of the party passed in a blur, with laughter and chocolate cake everywhere and very few tears. A lot of the kids from nursery left after the cake, but the ones Jack knew from rugby stayed—mostly because their dads were happy to hang out for a while.
Jack opened a few of his presents from the guys, which included some sort of bubble machine from Mason and Ryan, which Jack immediately wanted to set up, some gorgeous toy food from West and Rory, and a matching set of toy patisserie and cakes from Jonny and Devon. There was some Play-Doh, some paints, some bath toys, a large plague doctor-style plushie that I thought might terrify Jack but he’d just gasped, squished it tight, and declared it his new best friend, and surprisingly, a rather lovely set ofBrambly Hedgebooks from Danny.
Everyone had been fairly sensible, bar the bubble machine, although watching all the kids running around trying to pop them was hilarious, so I supposed Mason and Ryan got a pass. And at least it wasn’t messy.
Hannah and I maintained an easy distance, both of us pretending nothing was wrong even though I could feel the axe hanging over my head. My mind whirred as I tried to figure out what I wanted to say, my thoughts all bouncing around like rubber balls off a hard floor.
But one thing was crystal clear: I had to talk to Harper first.
I could not have a conversation with Hannah about our relationship without knowing where we stood or without him knowing what was going on. Harper trusted me, and I wasn’t going to break that by talking about him behind his back. And if that meant Hannah was pissed at me, then so be it.
“I know we promised we’d talk,” I said to Hannah as I carried some of the presents inside. “But it can’t be today. I have to talk to Harper first.”
Hannah looked at me, a plate of leftover cake in her hands. It seemed like she was about to speak, so I pressed on. “I like him, Han. A lot. And I don’t think I should be talking to you without him knowing what’s going on. It’s not fair on him, and I won’t do it. And you can be angry, but that’s not going to change my mind.”
“Okay then,” she said.
“Seriously?”
