I stood awkwardly next to him as he waited for his coffee. I could have found us a table, but suddenly the coffee shop feltvery claustrophobic, and all the people in it felt too close. I didn’t want their prying eyes and ears privy to what I was about to unload on Max.
As he turned around with his coffee, I said, “It’s a nice morning … want to go for a walk?”
“Sure.”
I avoided his eyes, took a sip of my coffee, and headed for the door. My body buzzed with nervous energy as I took off down the street too quickly, forcing Max to quicken his step to keep up with me.
“So … how have you been?” he asked.
“Good,” I said with fake brightness, thankful that walking meant we didn’t have to make eye contact. “Busy … work is going well … you?”Oh, God. How in the world am I supposed to bring up something like this?
“Yeah, it’s been a busy week.” Max was an insurance agent at a firm in the city. “I signed three new clients, so, you know, there’s all the paperwork that goes along with that and—”
“Max, I have to tell you something,” I burst out. I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and looked at him.
He stared at me with a blank face. I stared back, paralyzed by the realization that the next words out of my mouth would dramatically change his life.
Or would they? Maybe he’d want nothing to do with our child. Either way, his life would never be the same.
A frown started to spread across his face, the longer I stalled. “What is it?”
I bit my tongue. I had to blurt it out, before I lost my nerve. “I’m pregnant.”
Max’s face changed in a kind of slow motion. First, his eyes widened. I could almost hear the gears grind and click in his head as he put the pieces together. Then all the blood drained out of his face, leaving him pale with a greenish tinge. He almostdropped his coffee before his other hand flew up to catch it. “What?” he asked quietly.
“I’m pregnant,” I repeated matter-of-factly. I’d already spent so much emotion on this news, it seemed I had none left at the moment.
His eyes widened further. “What?”
“I know … it’s a lot. I’m sorry,” I said, then inwardly chastised myself. What did I have to apologize for?
His free hand started raking through his hair again, more forcefully this time. We were blocking the sidewalk, so I took his elbow and guided him a few steps away to a sidewalk bench. We both sat down.
“But … what … how … when …?” He alternated between looking up at me, looking down at his feet, and pawing at his hair so much it eventually stood straight up.
“Well, I’m just as surprised as you are about the ‘how,’ you know, since we usedprotection.” I whispered that last word, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
An image popped into my head from that first night we were together—Max letting go of me for just a second to say, “Don’t worry, I have something.” I remembered my chest heaving with anticipation as I watched him pull a condom out of his wallet, unbutton his jeans, and put it on.
“And it’s not too hard to figure out the ‘when,’ ” I continued. “We were only together a few times in January and February, and according to the doctor, that’s about how far along I am.”
His head snapped up. “You’ve been to the doctor?”
“Yeah. It felt so … unbelievable. I wanted to be sure before I said anything.”
We stared at each other for a moment before I remembered what I had in my purse. “Anyway … the doctor says I’m due in early November.” I pulled out the ultrasound picture and handed it to him.
It took only a second for Max’s expression to shift. “Oh my God,” he said with awe. He put his coffee cup down on the bench next to him and covered his mouth with his hand. “Oh my God.” He traced the small, bean-shaped blob with his finger.
I gave him a moment to stare at it and let the reality of what was happening sink in. Then I took a deep breath. “Listen, Max—I know this is a lot. It is for me too—I still feel like it can’t be real. But I want you to know—”
“I just got back together with my ex,” he blurted out.
Whoa … what?
“Oh,” I said, the pitch of my voice suddenly higher. I coughed. “The one you said you broke up with right before we met?”
“Yeah—Madison. We started talking again, after the last time I saw you. We’re … giving things another try.” He looked down at the ground.
