“You’re my baby siste—”
“Rach, you’re not my mom.” Océane takes a deep breath. “And that’s the thing… you and Karan are the same in that way.”
“What?”
Now I’ve truly lost the thread of this conversation.
“Both of you spend so much energy catering to other people’s needs. You’re all over me and always making sure I’m okay, and he’s obsessed with catering to his parents’ every whim. Then, add the fact that you have twin boys to that mix, and where does that leave what the two of you need?”
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks.
“Is any of what I’m saying making sense?”
“Uh, yeah.” I blink a few times and attempt to ground myself to the conversation instead of floating away in the turmoil of thoughts my sister brought up. “But that’s what being an adult means.”
It means you’re never the priority. Your needs can’t come first, because others will always rely on you. Especially those who can’t fend for themselves.
It’s different for Karan. He prioritizes whatever his boss wants, then his parents. In both of these cases, these people can fend for themselves. That’s miles away from what I’m doing.
We arenotthe same. Not anymore.
“I mean, you can keep telling yourself that,” Océane says.
Oh, shit. Did I say all of that out loud?
“Yeah, you did.”
Gah. I did it again.
“But it is different,” I argue.
“In your head, maybe it is,” she continues. “But do me a favour, Rach. Don’t use me as an excuse for why you can’t fix your marriage.”
“I never said tha—”
“You didn’t need to say it. And I overheard enough from Sophie to understand what’s going on. I’m not a child, Rach.” She’s starting to sound frustrated. “Please. What you and Karan have is something that some people will go a lifetime looking for and never find. Don’t give it up so fast.”
My gaze drifts to the bedroom window. I stand and make my way to the glass, taking a moment to look outside. There, below my line of sight, is Karan, playing in the snow with our boys.
My heart swells, both a painful and sweet sensation. The man who’s laughing in the snow, whom I’m looking at now, hasn’t shown up in months. Yet, there he is, right in front of me.
Is he still there? Is there a chance?
Chapter 24
Karan
“Dad, I need to pee!”
Cayce pulls me out of my staring daze. I blink a few times, then look down at my son, who’s jumping up and down in the snow, a pained expression on his face.
“Well, go pee,” I tell him with a smile right before turning back to the second floor window where I thought I caught a glimpse of Rachel looking down at us.
But she’s already gone.
“I need help with the zipper!” Cayce exclaims, more urgently this time. “Can you come with me, please?”
Oh. Right. This might be the kind of thing I’d be more aware of if I didn’t spend so much time at work. I know winter only just set in this year, but still, today is the first time I’m playing in the snow with my boys this year.
