It’s only that hardly over a year ago, Will could barely bring himself to speak to our sister. Not because he didn’t love her, oh no. But because he was ashamed of his freeze response when our parents’ abuse towards Océane escalated.
I was the one who got her out of that house. Who confronted our parents and screamed so loudly I lost my voice for three days after. So, for the longest time, he helped her out with money and not much else, in an effort to avoid his own guilt.
Thankfully, it’s gotten a lot better over the last year. Will’s in therapy, and the three of us hang out all the time. He hangs out with Océane alone, too. I think his relationship with Sophie has a lot to do with it.
She gives him the courage he always needed to show up as the big brother Océane wanted so desperately.
“Actually, why don’t you just ask her yourself?” Sophie asks right before shuffling echoes through the phone. “She overheard me and wants to talk to you, now.”
“Oh. Uh, sure.”
I barely finish my sentence before shuffling echoes on the other end of the line. I guess Sophie wasn’t asking for my permission.
“Rachel!” my sister exclaims in the most upbeat tone I’ve heard from her in a long time.
“Hey, honey.” I try to steady my voice.
Océane already has a shit ton to deal with in her own personal life. The last thing I want to do is burden her with my marital problems.
But how much did she overhear Sophie?
“So, how crazy is it out there?” she asks, a bright, curious tone illuminating her voice. “I was picturing something that could go well with Yakety Sax playing in the background.”
A laugh rips out of me without permission. “I mean, almost. But it’s not that bad. It’s fine. I’m fine.”
“Are you?” This time, Océane’s tone isn’t so peppy. “Typically, when I’m fine, I don’t have to repeat it out loud so many times.”
Of course my baby sister would know how to call me out on my bullshit.
I rub my face with my hand. “Okay. Yeah. I’m kind of falling apart out here. But that’s not your responsibility. I just want you to focus on taking care of you, okay?”
“Rachel?”
“What?”
“Why are you dumb?”
I straighten up out of shock. “Excuse me?”
“You’re so smart, yet you can be so dense sometimes. I just don’t get it.”
Océane’s voice is so light and unbothered that I have to double check that we’re actually having the conversation I think we’re having.
I’m so confused.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
She sighs on the other end of the line. “You know I’m a full grown adult, right?”
“Uh, yeah? Bu—”
“And yeah, I’m disabled. I know that. Does that mean I can only focus on myself and never help or support anyone else? Even my sister?”
I let the silence on the line grow. Heat creeps up my neck. Finally, I find the words.
“I’m not saying youcan’t.I’m saying it’s not your responsibility. I’m sorry I offended you.”
“You didn’t offend me, Rach. You’re just really frustrating me because I want to be there for you, and you’re making it really hard for me to be a sister to you.”
