Karan jumps back. I look up to see a short and stout girl looking down at us from the railing. My stomach sinks when I recognize her as one of the RAs—residence assistants.
“No loitering around here after curfew! Go back to your rooms!”
I don’t want this moment to end. Karan grabs my hand and squeezes.
“Now,” the RA repeats.
I look into Karan’s eyes, and we both giggle at each other, our gazes communicating everything our lips don’t have time to say before we part ways.
Chapter 7
Rachel
By the time I finally allow myself to crash against Sophie’s sectional couch with a cup of hot tea in my hand, I’m exhausted.
And it’s only Saturday morning.
Sophie saddles up next to me, bringing her knees to her chest with one arm and holding her mug of tea in the other. All five of our kids are playing on the floor next to us while Will and Karan are changing the sink in Sophie’s bathroom.
Playdates like this are common for us, but for the last couple of weeks, we’ve been so busy that we haven’t been able to catch up. Between moving Océane into our guest room a few weeks ago and taking the kids to a bunch of Christmas activities, I haven’t had much time to catch up with Sophie.
Right away, she detects something’s wrong.
“Girl, talk to me.” She scrunches her nose and frowns. “The guys are gone, and the kids are distracted, so tell me what’s up.”
I let out a deep sigh and straighten my back just enough so I can deposit my mug on Sophie’s coffee table. Although Sophie has been in our lives for only just over a year, I trust this woman with my life. Already, she’s like a sister to me. It helps that Will gushed about her for ten whole years before they finally got together, so it’s like I got to know her before I even met her.
Still, bringing what I have on my mind out into the world feels like a betrayal of my vows. Right now, the man I love is somewhere in this house, performing manual labour despite his exhaustion from work.
Tendrils of shame creep up around my spine at the thought of giving an ounce of attention to these seedlings of ideas trying to implant themselves into my brain.
My eyes start to burn. I swallow the lump in my throat and look down at my hands, trying to focus on the sounds of my boys laughing in the background.
But Sophie is too perceptive. “Rachel? Oh, honey…”
She places her own mug down and scoots closer to me, her long arms enveloping my shoulders.
It would be easy to let the tears fall. Sophie is safe. But I don’t want to alert the kids.
So I swallow again and take a deep breath, nestling my head against Sophie’s shoulder.
“Things are fucked.”
“Okay.” Sophie pulls away from me to hand me my mug. “Drink. Then tell me.”
I close my eyes, letting the warmth of the mug seep through my fingers. The aroma of chocolate mint tea wafts through my nose. It’s a small comfort for the current turmoil fighting its way through me. I take a sip and let the hot liquid coat my tongue, then swallow to let it warm me from the inside.
“I brought Océane to live home with us without asking Karan first.”
As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I shut my eyes in shame.
“Wait, what?” I open my eyes again, terrified of Sophie’s reaction, but the look in those blue eyes of hers just seems… confused. “Like, permanently?”
“Yeah.”
I proceed to tell her about the day I had to bring her to the hospital, and about the state of her apartment. With every moment, Sophie looks more and more horrified.
“Why doesn’t Will know about this?” she breathes out. “He’s trying to be more active in her life.”
