And I don’t fault her for it.
“I know. I was an ass, and I’m not trying to pretend I wasn’t. I thought I could distract myself with a stranger I’d hopefullynever see again. Avery wasn’t that stranger. If things between you and Matt worked out—which they did—I’d have to see her over and over again.” I cock my head sideways and pinch my lips. Even this angry, she’s just so beautiful. I wish I could kiss the anger away. “Every woman that came after was only that. A distraction. You’re it for me, Sophie.” I let my hand slip from her face and kneel in front of her. “And I want to prove it to you, right here and now.”
Sophie’s eyes go wide. “What the fuck, are you proposing?”
“No!” I look down at my knees and realize why she could have gotten that impression. “No, that’s not it. I just want you to have all the power here. I don’t want you to feel like you don’t have complete control, because you do. All I can say is this.”
I inhale deeply, then close my eyes for a brief moment before I grab at her thighs to hold on for dear life. And I take the leap. “I don’t want you to have to doubt, for a single second, that I love you for you—and only you. But I know that it’s unfair to ask you to put so much trust in me … especially with my track record, and with what Matt has done to you.” Her breath hitches, and I continue, “Sophie, you are enough. So much more than enough. I don’t need anything or anyone else. So if you want proof, I’m willing to be with you, and only you. Not the kids.” The words sting as they come out of my mouth, but I know it’s the right thing to do. I can earn my way back into their lives if I have to.
Or maybe I never will. And no matter how much it hurts, Sophie is worth it.
“I fucking love your kids, Sophie. I really do. But I loved you first.” I squeeze at the soft skin of her legs, gripping tightly. I never want to let go. “And if it makes you feel safe, if it makes you feel loved, that I only see you when you don’t have the girls, or only when your mom can take Julian, then so be it. Because I want this relationship to be on your terms.” I could die happy today if she chooses me. “Being a father figure comes second.My first priority is to be the partner you need me to be. I’m even going to therapy now.” A look of surprise lights up her face.
I’m in the home stretch. My heart is beating so fast I can feel it reverberate in my fingertips. The very same fingertips enveloped in the warmth of Sophie’s skin. “And if I have to spend the rest of my life only seeing you every other week and not ever seeing your kids, I will take that, Sophie.” I swallow and grip her closer. “I will take it, and run with it, and never let go.”
CHAPTER 39
SOPHIE
There’s a strange sound coming from afar. Or is it my ears ringing?
All I know is that I’m completely stunned. A thousand words—and at the same time, none at all—race to make their way out of my throat simultaneously, resulting instead in a strangled sound.
Below me, Will is on his knees, grasping my legs, literally begging for me. But I’m still processing the barrage of information he just threw at me.
How he’s loved me for this long. How he stood by for an entire decade as he had to watch his best friend kiss me, grope me, and I’m sure, on a few occasions, even hear me whimper his name during the nights he stayed over.
And how he’s willing to part ways with my kids, whom I know he has come to love, too, to prove to me that I’m enough.
“Will,” I breathe out, my legs trembling. I think he’s the only thing holding me steady. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You’re not.” He shakes his head. “You don’t have to ask me to do anything, Sophie. Because I’ll do anything for you regardless. I’m yours. I love you with all that I am. And I’m entrusting myself to you, at your mercy.”
Something in me breaks; my knees buckle and I stumble, only for him to be right there to catch me. I’m immediately wrapped in the heat of his arms, and whatever fear is left in my body dissipates into vapour. My arms scramble to grab onto whatever part of him I can, and before I can think it through and put up my walls, I press my mouth onto his.
A gasp escapes him, delicious and sweet against my lips. I tangle my fingers into his hair and let the taste of him wash over me, losing myself in the waves of relief and joy and love. But before I completely drown in him, I pull away, gasping for air.
“You would give them up to make me feel safe?” I’m on the verge of tears, still gripping his hair and his shoulders for dear life.
“Anything, Sophie.” The resolve in his voice and in his eyes tells me everything I need to know.
I trust this man with my life. With my love.
“But that’s not what I want!” I bite my lip and try to stop the tears from welling in my eyes, but it doesn’t work. I’m about to fall apart in his arms. “Will, you belong here, in my home. I love you so much that it terrifies me, but Gwen and Heather, they love you, too. And I love all of us together. Maybe I’m an idiot for not seeing it sooner, but you make our lives so much better just by existing, Will. I’m sorry I didn’t trust?—”
“Don’t.” He places a finger on my lips. “Don’t apologize for protecting yourself and those kids. I love you as you are. Don’t you dare apologize for any of it.” His touch turns into a stroke, and I lean my head into his hand, wanting nothing more than to be consumed by him.
“I love you,” I whisper again, letting the tears fall down my cheeks. We kiss again, and I’m enveloped in a warm cocoon of something I haven’t felt in a long time. Not just care, not just affection, not even just love. But something much bigger than that …
Safety.
EPILOGUE
SOPHIE
New Year’s Eve
It shouldn’t work, but somehow it does?”
