“Talk to him. Tell him what you need,” Tania encourages me. “You won’t figure this out by being away from him. Go talk to him and let your gut guide you.”
My mind is racing the entire drive back home. The ache of missing Will is becoming too much to bear. Still, my fear is stronger. I have a family to care for. A business to run. If Will tears my heart to pieces, I stand to lose much more than his presence in my life. Could I keep it together for my kids if I crumble again?
I don’t know. And taking that chance is terrifying.
But, God, there’s a glimmer missing from every moment of my life now that he’s no longer in it.
As I pull into the driveway, my gaze is drawn to a tall figure at my doorstep. My heart stops in my chest. His back is to me, but I’d recognize those broad shoulders anywhere.
Will.
CHAPTER 38
WILL
Air leaves my lungs when Sophie steps out of her car, and I turn to her. Even though I’m not blind to the shadows under her eyes, the sight of her is a soothing balm to my aching heart.
She’s already looking straight at me, matching my gaze. And I’ve never been this terrified.
I wait as she takes Julian’s carrier out of the car, resisting the urge to run to her aid. Then she’s headed towards me, her gaze still fixated on mine. I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out at first.
Shit. I rehearsed this. Why won’t the words come out?
“I thought I said I needed some space.” Sophie’s tone is steady but gentle as she walks up the steps to plant herself firmly in front of me. Electricity fizzles in the short space between us.
“I know.” My hand starts to lift, ready to sweep the loose strand of golden hair from her forehead, but I stop myself. “But you deserve to hear what I have to say. I can say my piece and then back away if you still need space, but please, Sophie, hear me out.”
I can almost see the cogs turning in her head, but I can’t tell what thoughts they’re creating.Please. Let her give me this one chance. This one chance is all I need.
She swallows, then takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. For a moment, I fear the worst and brace myself for her rejection.
But when she opens her eyes again, they’re soft and yielding. “Okay. But first … I want to say something.”
Elation flows through my veins, lighting me on fire. “Of course.”
“Ever since Matt did what he did,” she begins, “I haven’t felt safe. Not entirely. I’m always on my own, and I’m pretty good at making it all work. But …” She looks up at me through her long lashes. “Nothing feels steady anymore. And my kids need that steady ground. So you can say what you want, but I don’t know how I’ll ever feel safe … how I’ll ever really be sure that I’ll always be enough for you. Because I really don’t know anymore.”
A laugh escapes my mouth without me meaning to. Sophie begins to scowl, but I cut my laughter short before she has a chance to kick me to the curb. “If you think that’s funny, you’re going to need to leave, right n?—”
“Sophie, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” Her frown deepens, but I can feel a shift in the air, a new openness from her.
So I decide to test my luck. I cradle her cheek with a hand, almost sighing involuntarily when our skin meets. To my relief, she doesn’t recoil from my touch. “Sophie, you have to know by now … It’s just always been you. You’re so much more than enough for me, this whole time we’ve known each other. The only thing that changed is that now I get to have you, and I couldn’t before.”
Her eyes go wide. “What?”
I brace myself; it’s time for her to know everything. “I know what you think of my dating habits. You’ve made no secret of your opinion on that. And I’ll admit that, yes, I’m kind of an asshole for it, but to be fair, I gave it an honest shot with every one of them. I wanted it to work. Every time.” That’s the truth. “But I could never develop true feelings for anyone else.”
“Why?”
I swallow. “Because, Sophie, how could I ever be truly interested in anyone else when you were right there?”
She stares at me, her mouth agape. I continue, my heart slamming against my ribcage like we’re at a heavy metal concert. “I stayed out of Matt’s way because he was my friend. The bro code and everything. But that moment I saw you at that bar the night we met, I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. If I’d known, at that moment, that I would slowly fall head over heels for you, I’d have acted differently back then, but, fuck … If I hadn’t been so stunned, so frozen in place, maybe I could have called dibs before he did.”
“What?” The shock registers on Sophie’s face, and her voice is hardly more than a whisper. “What do you mean dibs?”
“Matt called dibs. Incredibly immature, I know.” If looks could kill, I’d be dead. “This was ten years ago, Sophie. We both had eyes on you that night. Incidentally, it’s why I ditched Avery … because I couldn’t stand being close to you and Matt and watching him pull his moves on you. And I felt it was disrespectful to pretend to be interested in your friend when that wasn’t the case at all.”
“So you had to rub it in her face by grinding up against some other girl?” She’s nearly seething. I thought she’d moved past that incident, but I guess I was wrong.
