But I’m not exactly … a catch right now. Okay, I’m not blind—I know I’ve got my looks going for me. But they’re not what they once were. Birthing three kids has ravaged my once supple skin with stretch marks, many still bright red from my latest pregnancy. Varicose veins snake across my thighs, and what to say about my breasts? They look fine in a bra, but breastfeeding three kids means they don’t hold up quite like they used to. And despite my self-confidence, trying to imagine showing myself—all of it—to someone new is petrifying.
And there’s a part of me that can’t help but wonder … if it wasn’t for the changes in my body, would Matt have gone elsewhere? Or would he have remained satisfied with what I had to offer?
Quickly, I realize this train of thought can take me to dark places. I need to talk. The first person I think about is Tania, but it seems like circumstances have been making it difficult for us to hang out together lately.
But I know Avery will have time for me. She always does.
I give Julian a quick kiss on the forehead and revel in his giggle, then take my phone out and send a quick text to Avery. It doesn’t take a minute before my phone starts ringing with an invite for a video call.
“How are you doing, mama?” I ask her, feeling warmth seep into my heart at the sight of her tired eyes.
“Oh, you know … hanging in there,” she says with a chuckle. “Nathan is napping right now. I should probably be doing thattoo, but I make bad choices.” That elicits a laugh from me. “But what about you? What’s going on?”
I briefly update her on the last couple of days; the virus, the kids, Will swooping in to save the day, and even the incident with Matt. The latter story makes her wince. Avery never particularly liked Matt, but I love her so much for abstaining from saying ‘I told you so’ after my discovery last year.
“I was wrong about Will,” I finally say to wrap up my story. “Well, I don’t think I was wrong about his womanizing ways, but about the rest. As soon as he told me he wasn’t speaking to Matt anymore … everything changed.”
“So you’ll be able to keep the peace?” she teases. “Maybe even be friends?”
“You don’t mind?” Will’s initial treatment of Avery was what sparked my disdain of him at first.
“Of course not. I’m over what happened. I’ve told you that over a hundred times, by the way.” Poor Avery, a national treasure, who consistently got rejected by men who didn’t deserve her in the first place. She may be over it now, but I know that the incident with Will was yet another reason she’d found it so difficult to allow herself to be happy with Logan. Thank the universe for Logan. No other man is good enough for my girl.
“I’ll take your word for it.” I sigh, shutting my eyes for a moment. “But seriously, Avery … I’ve got to get laid.”
She laughs out loud, that booming laugh that brings the sunshine wherever she goes. “Well, you don’t need to look too far.”
My heart skips a beat. “You can’t be suggesting …”
“Oh, I absolutely am.”
“Absolutely not.” As much as I can guess Will would take good care of me in bed—the thought alone fills my belly with a smoldering heat—I’m not about to become yet another woman on his list of one-night stands.
“Why not?” Avery whines. “He’s ridiculously hot. He’s right there. Come on, Sophie, don’t pretend you wouldn’t be telling me to go for it if the situations were flipped.”
“No, I wouldn’t be pushing you into the arms of a guy like Will. Not … not for that.” Heat rushes to my cheeks. “I’m fine with friends. But I’m not going there. Plus, we work together now, and I don’t need to add that on top of everything else I’m dealing with. I need to get it out of my system some other way. Find a guy who’s actually relationship material.”
“Whatever you say.” Avery shrugs. “I guess it’s time to resort to dating apps.”
“Ugh.” I don’t need to explain my groan to Avery. Before I met Matt, dating apps were just beginning to become popular. When things became steady between Matt and I, I thought I’d get to skip that whole mess.
Guess I was wrong.
“Just …” Avery pipes up in a gentle voice. “Think about it. Okay?”
“About Will?”
“Yeah.”
“Avery …” I rub my temples.
“I didn’t tell you to do anything or make any moves. I just said you should think about it. Nothing more.” She offers me a comforting smile. “That can’t hurt, can it?”
I ponder over her words. Maybe she’s right.
A little bit of fantasizing never hurt anyone … did it?
CHAPTER 20
