Logan moves one hand from my hip to my jaw; the soft contact ignites a thousand sparks within me. At that moment, I want to tell him the truth: I love him fiercely, with everything that I am and everything that I have.
But I can’t. Not yet. I can’t put all my cards on the table like this, not when I have no idea what he’s got planned next. What if it scares him off? What if it’s enough to make it all too much?
I can’t have him leave, not like the others.
His thumb strokes my jaw. “Where did you go?” he whispers, kissing the sensitive spot below my ear.
“I’m right here with you,” I whisper back before emitting a soft moan. My hands begin to travel around his back, just under the hem of his T-shirt.
“Hmm.” I’m not sure if he’s reacting to my touch or to what I said. I gasp when his teeth nibble at the spot where my neck and jaw meet. “You are now.” His breath is hot against my neck. Pressure starts mounting in my belly. But too soon, he pulls his face away, not letting go of my cheek. I’m confronted by the worried look in his hazel eyes. “Everything okay?”
“Yes,” I whisper in a pleading tone. I want his lips on me again.
He smiles. “Sorry if my boyfriend question made you go to a weird place.”
It’s my turn to smile. “Nah, right now you’re all I can think about.” His scent is intoxicating.
“God, I like the sound of that.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “But, for the record, this trail is much more popular than the waterfalls. I don’t think we can take that risk here.”
“Oh.” I drop my hands away from his back, unable to hide my disappointment. But he’s right.
“Holy shit.” Logan’s mouth falls open. He points forward. “Look.”
I twist to look where he’s pointing, and it’s my turn to gasp. It looks like we’ve made it to the top … the clouds have cleared at some point during our embrace.
In front of us is the whole world.
I can’t help but catch my breath as the land opens wide around me, a natural amphitheatre that’s both wild and wondrous. My shoes clack against the old wooden platform above this cliff, a remnant that feels like a handshake between the world we know and the untamed. Below, the coastline snakes into the mainland, a dance of deep greens against the blue vastness of the sea that stretches out like a restless beast.
I squint up at the sky, a sprawling stretch of the softest blues scattered with clouds that hint at far-off places and the echoes of ancient storms. The sun’s hanging up there, too, a generous dollop of gold, spilling its light all over the waves, making the whole ocean glint and gleam. The smell here—it’s something else. It’s like the sea and the pines are having their own kind of dance, twirling together and filling up my head with the kind of scent that makes you think of adventures.
It’s quiet, a kind of silence you can’t find just anywhere, a stillness that says this place hasn’t been rushed by time or touched by too many footsteps. I stand there, letting myself just breathe it all in, thinking that maybe, just for a little while, I could just be a part of it all.
“Holy shit, indeed.”
Logan steps onto the platform with me and gazes outward. I don’t know how much time passes while we simply admire the view before us. It feels like a part of me is floating above it all, taking it in.
After a moment, I look at Logan, who’s still gazing outward. Against this backdrop, I’m once again stunned that this man is real. Just looking at him makes my insides turn to mush. I have to concentrate to keep my knees from giving out. Somehow, I lucked out and got to have him in my life again.
And he wants me. This thoughtful, intelligent, kind, beautiful man wants me like I want him. My heart swells with the thought of it, so much so that I have to look away to keep my composure.
This is exactly why I have to get clarity on what happens next. Because I can’t bear the thought of going back to how my life was before. I can’t bear the thought of going home to my lonely apartment with too much time by myself to just think and get myself panicking. Now that I know what it is to live alongside Logan, that’s all I want.
“I bet they don’t have views like this in San Francisco,” I begin, feeling my hands start to shake. I’m scared to venture here. But I have to.
“Actually, that’s not quite true,” Logan corrects me with a humorous look. Immediately, I realize how stupid my comment was. San Francisco is in California. Of course they have views like this. “But I’ll be honest … I didn’t really make the most of it.”
“Why not? You were quite the wilderness lover back in the day.”
Right away, I can see I’ve said the wrong thing. His smile vanishes.
“Working at a startup is … gruelling. So finding time to do that other stuff …” His voice trails off. He’s not speaking with his usual self-assured tone. It doesn’t seem like he wants to dive deeper into the subject, but I have to know.
“Speaking of which, have you thought about what you’re going to do? After the summer?” I take a deep breath. “I know you said you didn’t know. But, as you probably know, my time here is coming to an end pretty soon, so I want to know where that leaves us. Should I be planning a move to San Francisco, or what?”
Logan is quiet for a moment. He doesn’t look at me. “No, I don’t think so.”
My stomach sinks. I’m not sure whether he doesn’t think so because he’s not going back to San Francisco or because he doesn’t want me there. “Oh. Okay. So, are you going to be working from home after this and moving back to Canada, or …” I trail off, hoping he’s going to finish my sentence.
