I melt against him, positively boneless, and bask in the bliss he has brought me in this magical place.
CHAPTER17
It’s Saturday, and because I’ve made such good progress on the website, I decide to take the entire day off. During my last Zoom call with Leslie, she loved the new style. “Do more ofthat,” she said. I just hope I can keep it up before I run out of steam.
This is Logan’s day off as well, so he decides to take me to the Skyline Trailhead, one of the must-see areas of Cape Breton. The trailhead is one of many trails scattered around Cabot Trail, which surrounds the peak of Cape Breton like a ribbon. It’s all winding roads and stunning cliffside views to get there, and I’m so excited to see Skyline that I barely even think about what’s been on my mind recently.
Although Logan and I talk about pretty much everything, I’ve yet to crack the code on how to talk to him about his job. Not his summer job at the lodge, but his real job, the one in San Francisco for which he abandoned his home and family. And now that my days at the resort are nearing their end, I’m starting to feel the pressure of what’s next. It’s creeping in slowly, more and more every day. After about a week of this routine, I know I need to crack him open and make some progress on this topic, or else I’m going to be stuck going back home without any answers.
And I can’t have that.
“I just hope it’s not too foggy today,” Logan says as he’s pulling into the parking area of Skyline Trail.
“It doesn’t look foggy,” I tell him, confused. As I get out of the car, I look around; sure, there are some clouds in the sky, but it’s mostly sunny. There’s no sign of any sort of fog.
“From here, it doesn’t. But when we’re up there …” Logan points towards the forested area in front of us. That’s where the trail begins. “We’ll be high enough to dip into the clouds. And there are clouds today, so …”
“Okay, that is so cool.”
“It is, and it’s pretty eerie, but when I came on my own, I almost didn’t see anything at the top because of all the clouds.” Logan peers towards the sky, shielding his eyes with his hand. “It doesn’t look too bad right now. Maybe we’ll get lucky.” Then, he looks down at me and gives me one of his signature smiles. My insides go all gooey, and I reach to grab his hand.
The trail is nothing short of spectacular. And it’s so different from yesterday’s trek to the waterfalls. At first, it looks like any old trail in the woods; it’s forested and shadowy, but the trees are short enough to let the sun through. But as we venture further into the trail and higher up in altitude, the trees begin to recede, letting way for open, mountainous plains.
Now I begin to see what Logan meant. Below the trail, the mountain dips down, but we can’t see below; the clouds obscure the way. From here, it looks like thick fog. “There aren’t as many clouds as when I was here last time,” Logan explains. “I think that if we make it all the way to the top of the trail, we might see something more.”
I look around, completely enamoured with the beauty of this place. I’m no stranger to wilderness trails. Growing up in Western Ontario meant I had plenty of those lying around. But this place feels so different. We’re literally in the sky, above the clouds. Since the trees are sparse up here, the plains and mountains open up around us, displaying a lush landscape of colourful flowers and grass. I inhale deeply, awakening every sense I have. The scent is fresh, floral, and earthy.
“So, I need to know,” I begin as we walk. “Did high school suck for you as much as it did for me?”
Logan visibly cringes. “Well, it wasn’tthatbad. Honestly, once we got to that point, I didn’t really get bullied or anything. It’s like people moved on and did their own thing. At least, that’s what I did.” He’s got a thoughtful look in his eyes. “Not to say it was a great experience, either. It was really lonely. There were the jocks and the guys who were into literature … but I was pretty much the only computer-obsessed nerd at that school. At least for the cohort I was in. So I didn’t even fit in with the other nerds.” He chuckles. “But that’s okay. I’ve always been fine on my own.” Then he turns his neck to look at me and grabs my hand. “Although, I much prefer to be here with you. You’re pretty much the only person I couldn’t get tired of.”
My heart skips a beat at the reminder that I matter to him. At the same time, my stomach drops a little. It sucks to know he was out there, all alone. Yet another reminder of the consequences of us moving away. Of me ghosting him.
If I’d kept talking to him, he could have had company, at least virtually.
I close my eyes for a moment and try to shake it off. I’m not going to sabotage myself. Not again. I told Sophie I could move past this.Stop feeling guilty for what is already done.
“I already know you just had Sophie,” he continues. His hand squeezes mine as if to comfort me. “I can see why. You two are, like … the opposite of each other. She’s like the extrovert that adopted you.”
“Yeah, pretty much,” I chuckle. Because that’s exactly what happened.
“Did you …” He looks hesitant. “Did you have any boyfriends in high school?”
“A few, actually.” But I don’t want to go there. My chest feels heavy at the memory. The truth is, the few relationships I had with guys from my high school days weren’t for the right reasons. Most of the time, I can’t even remember what I saw in them. All that mattered to me back then was that they wanted me. And that was good enough for me.
Logan frowns but immediately tries to fix his expression. “Cool.”
A giggle erupts out of me, and I pull his hand so he’ll stop walking. “Are you … jealous?”
His eyebrows go up as if he’s offended. “No! Well …”
“You are,” I tease, giving him a playful poke in the belly. But I poke too hard and hurt my finger against the hardness of his abs. “Ow.”
Now it’s his turn to laugh; before I can react, his arms move toward me and pick me up over his shoulder. I squeal in delight.
“Okay, yes, thinking of other guys touching you makes me feel jealous. What can I say?” He laughs as he spins me around once. I squeal again, and he carefully lowers me down in front of him. I’m dizzy from being up in the air but also from being drunk on all of him.
He doesn’t let me go when my feet hit the ground. Instead, his hands stay steady on my hips, the heat of his skin burning through the thin fabric of my legging shorts. He looks down at me with an intense twinkle in his eyes.
