Logan and I had agreed to meet for dinner. My heart sinks as I realize he must think I’ve ghosted him. Great. Just great. Just when I thought we were headed in the right direction.
I scramble to my feet and realize I’m still wrapped in my towel when it falls to the ground, leaving me naked. I roll my eyes and pick it back up to roll myself back in it just as the door cracks open.
In pops Logan’s head. As soon as he makes eye contact with me, he recoils. “Sorry! I just wanted to check if you?—”
I feel myself going hot all over. If he’d walked in just a few seconds before, he would have seen everything. And while the idea makes me a little dizzy, I also find myself asking:
Would that have been such a bad thing?
“It’s fine,” I yell out so he can hear me from outside. I don’t know if he’s mortified or not, but right now that’s not what I’m worried about. I’m overcome with guilt about having accidentally skipped out on dinner. “Logan, I fell asleep. I’m the one who’s sorry. It was just supposed to be a little nap.”
“I know.” His voice is a bit muffled behind the door, even though he left a tiny crack open. “I came to check up on you earlier.”
Relief floods through me—immediately followed by embarrassment. I was asleep—I don’t know what he saw. Who knows how the towel moved around while I thrashed around the bed? Jasper always told me I moved like a hurricane in my sleep.
I think back to yesterday afternoon when Logan stared at me as I was coming out of the ocean in my bathing suit. Back then, I wasn’t sure what he’d been thinking. His eyes had been difficult to read, but I had assumed he was shocked by my flabby middle.
But now that I’ve felt the intensity of his want when his lips were against mine … I’m not so sure anymore.
But I know what I want. I want him to see all of me and like it.
I swallow, take a deep breath, and step towards the door. While one hand stays against my chest to keep the towel secure, the other opens the door.
Logan’s reaction is immediate. His face goes tomato-red, and he backs up just a little from the door, averting his eyes. “Um, hi,” he stammers out.
His reaction confirms my theory. So it wasn’t disgust after all. I curl my toes against my floor, trying to resist the urge to throw the towel away and jump into his arms. All in due time. For now, I’m still confused. “So why didn’t you wake me, then?”
“You looked like you needed it.” He pinches his lips and fiddles with his hands. It’s cute to see him taken aback like this. And the fact he wanted to let me rest sends flutters in my chest. “Do you want to, um, get dressed, or …”
I chuckle. I need to put him out of his misery. Despite me knowing we both want this right now, I also want to take a step back and have a proper talk. This isn’t some random guy I met on Tinder. It’s Logan. I’m not about to ruin the friendship we’ve rekindled after seventeen years just for a bit of fucking.
Even though my body is telling me to do otherwise.
“Yeah, I’ll go do that. You can come in. I’ll go change in the bathroom.” I turn and leave the door open, beckoning him inside. I can hear his slow, hesitant footsteps as he steps inside, but I don’t look back for now. I walk to the foot of the bed, where my suitcase is lying open, and I grab something that hopefully won’t be too distracting. A pair of emerald jogging pants and a matching sweatshirt should do it.
With my chosen outfit in hand, I make my way to the bathroom and shut the door behind me. Before I get dressed, I look in the mirror. Since I fell asleep with wet hair, it dried with a few weird kinks. I quickly brush through it and put on my clothes. There. I don’t look like complete shit, but I don’t look like a smoke show, either. This should be suitable for having an adult conversation about adult things without eliciting the hungry look I saw glinting in Logan’s eyes.
When I walk out of the bathroom, Logan is sitting at the small table on one of the two stuffed chairs, staring out at the sea through the window. But his head immediately jolts when he hears me walk out.
I join him at the second chair. “So,” I begin, leaning an elbow against the table.
“So.” He doesn’t move, and I can see from his expression that he’s not sure what to say or how to behave.
“The boat.”
“Yeah.”
Ugh. This isn’t going to be easy. I’ve never been the best at navigating these kinds of discussions, and from what I can tell, it isn’t Logan’s strong suit, either. But we need to get started somewhere.
I open my mouth to try again, but Logan beats me to it. “So here’s the deal, Avery. I’m gonna be 100 percent upfront and honest, and I hope it’s enough.”
I shut my mouth and nod. “Go on,” I whisper. My heart is trying to climb its way out of my throat.
“For a moment there on that boat, I got scared—really scared. And I’m not used to being scared like that. I pride myself on being pretty level-headed even in the most extreme circumstances, but this …” He stares deep into my eyes. “This was different because you were there.”
I stay silent, urging him to go on. It feels like time is moving through molasses.
“Look, it’s pretty obvious that I’ve always cared deeply for you. The day you left Red Lake was one of the worst days of my life. And the day you …” He trails off. My heart sinks—I know exactly what he’s referring to. “Anyway. I moved on. I had my teenage life. I went to college, left for San Francisco, did all the things you’re supposed to do. But I didn’t forget about you, Avery. Not for one second.”
