“I’m not marrying you.”
He smiles at me tenderly.“That is all right.Because I have not actually asked you to marry me.”
I cringe at that reminder.“Fine.Just so we’re on the same page.I guess you can stay.”
Leo grabs my hands again, and this time pulls me into a hug.“Kind of you to let me stay on this public beach.”
I breathe in his scent while I wrap my arms around him, because he’s here now, and so am I, and I’m savoring every moment of it.“Oh, shut up.”But there’s no heat there now.“Aren’t you supposed to be all in love with me and in too much awe to sass me?”
“I am in love.I have not received a hard hit to the head.”
“Great.”But I’m not mad.I wouldn’t have given up sassy Leo for anything.
Anne clears her throat behind us, closer than she’s been during our conversation.She closes the rest of the distance until she’s standing next to us.We break apart, still too close for propriety, but less likely to shock any delicate Victorians who walk by.“We should get back to Her Majesty.It’s almost dinner and she’ll wonder where we’ve gone.Lord Basildon, will you be joining us?”
I don’t take my eyes off Leo while Anne is talking, so I catch him look at me in question.
“Yes.”I deflate.“Leo, er, Lord Basildon will be joining us.As long as that’s all right with Her Majesty, of course.”
“I’m sure it will be.You know what a romantic Her Majesty is.”
We walk back to the carriages, where Leo gives his coachman instructions and then gets in our carriage.
I still haven’t told him that I love him, too.He’s taking the lack of news well, smiling at me tenderly on the ride back to Osborne while I scowl at him.Stubborn lord of the manor.
Doesn’t he know what’s best for him?Living an uncomplicated life with the beer heiress, for one.Ignoring women who lie to monarchs and say they’re from the future, even if they do happen to be telling the truth, for another.
We get to Osborne House and head to the drawing room to wait for Victoria.She doesn’t take long, lighting up when she sees Leo.
“Basildon!I was not expecting this.”Victoria greets Leo warmly, offering her hand for him to bow over as her eyes sparkle in matchmaking success.Anne was right; the queen is a romantic.“Albert would have done exactly the same thing.”She pats his cheek when he stands up out of the bow.Then she turns her eyes on me.“It’s quite the suitor you have here.”
“See?Her Majesty, bestowed with a higher-than-average intelligence, knows I am an exemplary specimen.”
I’ve seen peacocks during the height of mating season, with full plumes of shimmering feathers, that strut less than this.His ego is going to be impossible to live with now.
Not that I’m going to be living with him.
“For an equally exemplary lady.”Victoria, mother of nine children, tries to keep the peace between us.I lean around the voluminous skirts of the monarch and stick my tongue out at Leo from behind Victoria’s back.
“Did you hear that?I’m equally exemplary.Her Majesty says so.”
“Yes.I agree,” Leo stage whispers at me.
Victoria giggles like an elementary school student who just found out there’s going to be a field trip to the zoo, instead of a woman who’s buried two loves of her life.“Come on, children.It’s time for dinner.”
We make the procession to the dining room, slightly ridiculous when there are so few of us, but the British do enjoy their traditions.
I can’t pay attention to the luxurious dinner, my eyes repeatedly wandering to Leo.So much that I almost spill soup all over my borrowed dress, but save it at the last minute.It takes everything in me to stop myself from telling Leo that I love him.I don’t know if that will make it easier or harder for him when I leave, but now that I’ve accepted that Leo loves me, I want him to know that he’s loved too.
By the end of the dinner, I’ve succumbed to the fantasy that it can always be like this: being with Leo, enjoying his company, laughing with him.Maybe I won’t be leaving at all.Maybe we can do this.Victoria and Leo are talking animatedly about something, and I might just want him so bad that I’m willing to justify anything, especially after he told me he loved me, but we can make this work.He’s close to the queen; she’ll help us.
I know about the past.I can help him make money, and a title will still shield both of us from a lot, after a marriage.Maybe we won’t be living in London, but we can be happy in the countryside.Or have a perfectly happy life in London, just not invited to pointless balls, which is also fine.We can start a charity for the lascars that actually understands their needs and helps them, and Leo can use his position in Parliament to make life better for people here.
We can figure this out.If we work hard enough, we can do this.
And staying away clearly isn’t working; I keep dragging my feet on leaving and he keeps following wherever I go, making us both miserable in the process.
There isn’t really a good time to tell him about my epiphany (and about my love), though.Not when Victoria is talking about India.What would I say,Actually, a lot of people there are being mistreated and they aren’t that happy to be colonized, and also Leo, I love you?
