He shakes his head.“No one would believe me if I did.I do not even know if I do.But while some will easily believe you have been lying, they will not believe you are from the future.Then I will be branded a liar or insane and lose any benefit from our deal.And the deal is working for both of us, so we should keep it as is.”
“Thank you,” I mumble.
“It is at least half self-interest.”Then he looks at me with sharp eyes.“What knowledge that beautiful head must hold, if this is true.”
“Nothing more than what anyone else in my time knows.”As a historian I might retain more of these facts, but everyone in the future at least has the opportunity to know them.It’s probably not an important distinction for the sake of this conversation, but I don’t want him to think I’m more unique than I am.
“Do you know what will to happen to me?”He asks it as a half joke, like he doesn’t believe me but on the off chance this is true, he wants to know what happens to him.
“No.”I don’t point out that’s probably because he doesn’t do anything of note.“I don’t know information on everyone here.Just the people who...”I don’t know a non-offensive way to say the next part.
“Just the people who distinguished themselves.Good or bad.Enough to be remembered in the annals of history.”
“Something like that.”
“It’s all right.I never expected to change the world.I never thought so much about the future in general, I guess.Maybe I should have.”The last part is a mumble, more to himself than me, I think.
“Well, thank you for not abandoning me.That’s pretty monumental and world changing to me.”I’m so grateful this is how he’s choosing to respond to my news.I would like him to completely believe me and support me, but that’s too much to ask for and I’ll take begrudging silence.
And the opportunity to spend more time with him.
If I have to go without Netflix and Instagram, at least I get to look at Leo.Like I am now.He’s got a thoughtful look on his face, like he’s still not sure he’s being pranked, but he’s going along for the ride until it stops being fun for him.
I smile back at him in thanks and he blinks in confusion.Probably wondering why I suddenly turned on that big a smile, so I dim it to what I hope is a normal level.
He stops the frequent blinking, but his eyes are now locked on my lips.And I realize I left my chaperone behind and I’m alone with Leo.
CHAPTER17
“Iguess we should head back,” I whisper.“I hope the queen doesn’t get mad that I left.Not that she’ll probably notice.”But I don’t want to piss her off before she even gets the letter.
“You’re hard not to notice.”Leo extends his fingers and plays with a curl that’s sprung free from Anne’s artfully arranged hairstyle.He tugs on it lightly, the slight sting dragging me back into this moment.Back from thoughts of what I’m going to do if the Cooch Behar royals say they don’t know me.Back from thoughts on how to get home.
Then he uses that curl to tug me closer, and I go willingly.
“I’m usually very easy to ignore,” I tell him because it’s impossible to keep anything from him in this temple to knowledge.Lying, or lying by omission in letting him think I’m someone interesting and not just interesting because I’m from the future, feels wrong here.“Other historians do it all the time.And the general population doesn’t care about my research either.”
And I let it go.Because at worst, they’ll be like the professor who laughed at me when I said I wanted to study Indian immigrants in England, and mock me, so sure they’re right with their pre-conceived notions and biases of what “western” history is.At best, they’ll just ignore me, or scoff every time a person of color is represented in western history, sure that history wasn’t diverse because the one survey history class they had to take for their degree never mentioned it.And since it never gets through, I don’t even want to try, because then I’ll just fail again.Same as with dating.
But not now.Now I’ll tell them with complete confidence that I know of at least one Indian royal(ish) who slept at Buckingham fucking Palace.
If I ever get home.
“It’s just because I’m so different to everyone you know.Because I’m from…you know.”Even though I don’t say it, I feel a little thrill that I don’t have to lie to Leo anymore.I’ve been so worried about what would happen if the truth got out, and now at least one person knows and I haven’t been arrested.It’s very freeing.
Leo doesn’t dismiss the idea right away.He tilts his head andconsiders.I don’t know if I would have preferred an instant and probably disingenuous denial over him actually considering if I’m boring in front of me.
Then he shakes his head.“I do not think so.This is London, and people come here from all over the world for business, pleasure, or a new start.And they have been coming for a while.Take my family as an example.Yes, London has never had anyone from the future to my knowledge.But I still do not think my interest is just because you are from a different place.”
“You can’t know that unless you meet more women like me!Then you’d see there’s way more interesting people out there.”I don’t know why I’m trying to sell other future women to Leo so bad.I just don’t want him to have the wrong idea about me.If he is interested, I want it to be because ofme,not my strange future personality.
Not that this is going anywhere, regardless.
Leo snorts softly, respecting the silence of the library.“I do not think I could handle any more women like you.”
As I open my mouth to tell himagainthat he just doesn’t know what he’s missing, he steps forward, so I step back.We keep up the dance until my back hits the hard leather spines on the bookshelf behind me.
“But I am very grateful, for however or to whatever brought you here, that you did come.And that I met you at that ball.”He raises his hand to touch my cheek and I lean into it despite my resolution to stay away from Leo.
