No, there must be levels of love. I can still save some of myself if I put some space between Beau and me. Now. Yes, space. I’ve identified what I need to make myself all better and it will work.
Now Priya would make a plan. A plan can get you through anything. Step one: leave. Step two: buy a plane ticket. Step three: eat my way through the Door Dash app once I get home. Step four: work through the pain. Then there’s Ajay’s advice: drink all the alcohol, stop making plans andact. Maybe I can make that a step five. Or make it step three and a half.
I feel my heart calm down marginally at the thought of a plan. Is this why Priya is constantly making them?
I don’t hear what else Eve says, but everyone claps and the lights on the tree turn on. I focus on breathing and keeping down the impulse to flee. I know the odds of me getting an Uber to the airport are slim, since I feel like everyone in the town is currently at this parade, but I still look down at my phone and open the app.
No service.
That sounds about right for these sticks. I keep up the deep breathing as the people on the stage make their way back to the tables.
“I need to go,” I say to Beau as soon as he gets back to me.
Beau goes on the alert, looking around at what could have caused the panic in my voice. “What’s wrong?”
I take the coward’s way out; I can’t get into the truth right now. “I have to get back to New York. Emergency with the show.” I hold up my phone like I got a text from Priya telling me I need to come home.
Never mind I don’t have service.
“Does Loot not have enough mulch?” Beau tries for a joke and I attempt a smile back, the best I can do. It feels more like a grimace and Beau’s face gets concerned, so it’s not passing.
“I’ll take you back to the house and then to the airport. I think you’ll be able to catch the last flight out.” Beau looks at his watch and starts getting his stuff together. “Do you want to say bye to everyone?” Without waiting for a response, Beau heads for his family, who are still chatting by the stage.
Okay. I guess I’m saying bye then.
“Hi, everyone. Thank you so much for your hospitality, but I have to leave. Work emergency,” I say weakly, the words coming out a little breathless as I try to keep my pounding heart from pounding through layers of rib cage and muscles and skin. I think it adds to the illusion of this fake emergency though, so it can only help.
“What?”
“Now?”
“That’s a bummer.”
“Is everything okay?”
Each member of the Abbot family (and whatever Annabelle decided to do with her last name) chimes in with questions and disappointment.
“It should be fine.” And I should be too, I hope. If I recovered from my parents, surely I can recover from Beau, who I’ve only known for a few weeks. He didn’t even give me life. “Just a work thing that needs me. And no one else can do it.”
Please don’t ask for details. In the emotional turmoil I’m in right now I would not be able to think of a convincing excuse off the top of my head.
“Is there anything we can do to help?” Reed asks. Damn it, these people are so nice and I need to get as far away from them as I can. Like open an office in LA far. Or New Zealand far.
“No, thank you. Beau said he would get me to the airport. I think I’ve got it from there.”
“It was so great meeting you.” Eve reaches for a hug. “I’m sorry the South broke you. It didn’t even do that to me when I got here,” she says into my hair.
“It’s not the South’s fault.” I share a small smile with the woman before hugging the rest of the family.
“We’ll miss you.” Annabelle hugs me.
“I’ll miss you too.”
She holds on a little longer than me. I attempt to move back but she doesn’t let go. “Oh, okay. We’re still hugging.”
I finally get freed and follow Beau to not-his-truck.
“Dad let me borrow his truck so we don’t have to walk all the way back to the staging place.” Beau unlocks the doors and I climb in.
