“I never say no to large boxes of condoms and lube.”
“An excellent policy to have.”
We laugh together and I get my phone out so she can enter the clinic’s address in my notes. I would have ordered the first box right there, but I have no reception in the sticks, so the youth of Aiken County are going to have to wait. Which I realize is not a strong suit for teenagers.
“How long are you staying for?” Amanda asks me when I take my phone back.
I whip my head at her to see if she’s being genuinely curious or if she wants me to go away so she can have Beau all to herself. Or if she’s looking for juicy gossip to tell everyone right after she leaves.
Her face is as open and friendly it was before, so I don’t think she’s trying to do any of those things.
“I don’t know. Sometime during or right after the holidays I would imagine, but Beau had to leave New York in such a hurry, so we weren’t concerned about locking down the return flight.”
And I would appreciate if people and situations could stop reminding me that I’ll be going home soon. I can do that enough myself.
“Then we’ll just have to savor the time we have with you.” She can’t really be this nice. Can she?
We sit together for a little while longer, chatting, until Eve spots Amanda and drags her away. She waves at me with one hand while getting dragged around like a rag doll behind Eve with the other.
The rest of the day, curious people come sit down with me and grill me on who I am, why I’m here, if I’m carrying Beau’s baby, and to give me banana pudding.
The woman who gave me the pudding was the one to ask me if I was pregnant, but after tasting the delicious gift from the gods that is banana pudding, she could have asked me how much I made and I wouldn’t have cared. Shoot, ask me my weight and I’ll tell her happily. As long as I get more of this ambrosia.
I should have been irritated at the constant onslaught of strangers I have to socialize with, but they told me so much about their own lives, from their partner troubles, to wedding planning, to the drama happening to get the new stop sign in over on Main Street, I can’t maintain the irritation.
I do love reality TV.
Eve finishes the final preparations and lets everyone escape to find their own way to the parade start site, with strict instructions to be ready in a half hour at the local high school.
Beau comes to get me when we’re released, already dressed in his robe and fake white beard.
“Hey there, old man. You better leave before my strapping young gentleman caller comes and beats you up for looking at my ankle, see,” I say in my best ’40s voice. They were concerned about the seductive power of ankles back then, right?
“I could take him.” Beau sits down next to me. “How was the Southern Inquisition?” he asks, letting me know that he’s been watching me all day. Warm feelings flutter around in my chest, which is currently covered by Beau’s larger sweater since mine didn’t fit over my cast and he wanted me to be able to wear it tonight.
Even though he didn’t rescue me from the Southern Inquisition. Wait a minute...
“So you knew what was happening, and you still let me walk into it without being forewarned and therefore not forearmed? And without being saved?”
“You looked like you could handle yourself, and certain Yankee types get mad when I try to help them. I didn’t want to offend anyone.”
“Ha! You thought it was funny and let me suffer.”
Beau snorts. “They all came to me right after they left you and said how disappointed they were that they didn’t get enough information out of the stubborn Northerner. Except Jean, who said you agreed to have my baby if she kept making you banana pudding.” Beau quirks his eyebrow, asking for confirmation on that piece of information.
I keep my mouth closed because I might have said it in an effort to get more pudding. I would have said anything to get more nanner puddin’.
“I don’t recall.” I fall back on the answer every lawyer probably wished their clients would use more often.
“I get it. It’s the best banana pudding in South Carolina, but don’t tell my aunt I said that.”
“I would never.” Because I don’t think I’ll be meeting his aunt.
We walk to Beau’s truck and load up the extra decorations Eve needs (I supervise, being incapacitated and all). We arrive at the site just as Eve’s deadline is up and get some maternal stink eye for that.
Harper and Harry see me first and run over to me. They heard about the cast, because everyone here knows everything about me and nothing is secret, and demand the right to sign it. I give in with no argument and they pull Sharpies out of Harper’s backpack, fighting amongst each other over who gets to go first.
I end the fight by pointing out that Harper can draw on one side while Harry draws on the other, and it works before I have to call in real adults to handle the situation. I’m basically that guy who did the Camp David Accords.
