“If you can fit it over your cast, sure. Because you’re not in the costumed part anymore and you got injured in her rehearsals, I reckon you could show up in a bathing suit and Mom wouldn’t care.”
I gasp. “I would never ruin her aesthetic like that. Unless the bathing suit had Christmas trees on it.” I’m not a grinch.
I lean in to kiss the thoughtful man in front of me, but before I can reach those amazingly soft lips, his mom’s voice interrupts us. Again.
This is why some of my people stopped living with our parents.
The rest of the day is organized chaos run by the taskmaster Eve Abbot. She wrangles animals, children, and buzzed adults with a ruthless efficiency, all with a smile and a “Thank you” in that sugar-tea sweet voice.
Maybe one does get more flies with honey than vinegar. Hmm. Maybe point South.
Since I’m going to be sitting on the Abbot Farms float (next to peaches decorated for Christmas) waving with Annabelle’s children, there isn’t much training or organizing for me. I’m free to watch the spectacle around me in relaxation.
Groups of people socialize around Eve’s schedule. Every time someone new comes, they bring snacks, stopping the activity for however long it takes to greet the person and clear out their food stash.
Eve seems to have built this into her schedule, because she only moves people along if they stay past when the snacks are gone. Or she may know there’s no use in trying to move anyone along until food is no longer a factor.
Dr. Amanda (who stops getting mean nicknames since Beau didn’t gethera matching Christmas sweater) checks in with me during the prep period.
“How’s the arm?” She takes a seat next to me on the hay and watches the activity too.
“Still feels fractured.”
“Yeah. It’s probably going to take a while before that feeling goes away. But if it ever gets worse, have Beau call me and we can take another look to make sure everything’s going well.”
“Thank you.” I feel a little bad for the uncharitable thoughts I had about her yesterday. And I know they were because of the way she was talking to Beau and knowing that she’s probably everything he’s looking for: ready for commitment and living in the South. Also smart and beautiful to boot.
I can’t even blame her for the injury because I could have just waited like a normal human and met her after my ride, instead of trying to recreate gymnastic contortions I’m not qualified for on the back of a camel. Not that I’m qualified off the camel, either.
“This is a nice tradition you all have here.” I offer the olive branch.
“It is. I heard you really liked Christmas so I’m glad you’ve been able to see some of our best traditions.”
I haven’t spoken to her about that. “How’d you hear about that now?”
“I think Eve told her assistant, who told her hairdresser, who told the librarian and she’s my cousin, so I found out at family dinner.”
“Wow. That is...”
“Scary?” Amanda finishes for me.
“Yeah.”
“You get used to it. Sort of.” She smiles at me.
“But how do you buy condoms or lube?” I ask before I can stop myself, recognizing when the words are out of my mouth that people probably don’t like to talk about that here.
But Amanda is a doctor and she doesn’t scare easy. “With fake mustaches and sunglasses, I imagine. Or just knowing someone who doesn’t care and bought some.” She shrugs. “Then Amazon really helped the situation. But people still might not be able to get access depending on the situation.”
“That seems problematic.”
“Trust me, as a girl growing up here and as a doctor here now, I know. We are kind of close to Aiken, so we can go there, but it’s still a ways to go. I try to buy some condoms for the clinic and offer them to patients if they want, but it’s been slow to pick up. And the stink I caused when I started talking to teens about sexual health in their appointments, that was not fun. Still isn’t actually.”
Yeah, she’s not so bad after all. Even a good egg. Still totally wrong for Beau though.
I hope.
“Well, let me know if you guys take donations for condoms and I’ll Amazon you the biggest package of them you’ve ever seen. Lube too.”
