I snagged a sports drink left over from the stash I’d bought for Elena and grabbed a breakfast burrito out of the freezer and popped it in the microwave. Anna made them for me and stockpiled them along with the dinners. Usually, I loved them. She filled them with eggs, andouille, and cheese with a little white gravy. She’d been making them for me for years and knew exactly how I liked them. Today the Ziploc bag of burritos felt like foil-wrapped admonishments of one more way I couldn’t handle my shit.
I felt the old familiar grooves of depression and destructive thoughts. I’d worked too hard to change the way I talked to myself and much too hard putting systems in place that helped me be successful. I wasn’t about to let myself backslide into old habits.
While the burrito heated, I slipped on my shorts and sneakers. Exercise endorphins first, then I’d follow my normalroutine and catch up with my sister. Maybe by the time I finished that, I’d know how to answer Elena’s texts.
I grabbed the piping-hot burrito, wrapped it in a paper towel and headed out the door to run until I made friends with my head again.
After close to two miles, I’d hit my stride physically, but I wasn’t any closer to mental equilibrium. Being alone in my head wasn’t doing me any favors. I changed course and headed to Crescent City Canines. Maybe Jasper would be up for a run. I stopped a block before the shelter, breathing through my nose as I walked the quiet street. By the time I opened the door, my heart rate had dropped back to normal.
The door chime rang behind me, and I felt a bit of peace creep into my head at the familiar surroundings. Even the disinfectant odor was a comfort.
“Jake!” Maria came through the door from the kennel area, wiping her hands on her jeans. “I was just thinking of you.”
“Good things, I hope.”
“Always.” Maria reached out to touch my arm, and for a moment I thought she might hug me. “Jasper got adopted this week, and it’s because of you.”
“What did I do?” I felt a mixture of joy tinged with sadness. It was always good when a dog found their forever home, and Jasper certainly deserved his. It’s not like we’d been long-term running buddies or anything. It just hit differently today because I was already closer to my feelings than I wanted to be.
“A mother and her daughter came in this week and adopted him. They said you introduced him to them while you were out on your run, and they couldn’t stop thinking of him.” She dug in her back pocket for her cell phone. “He’s got a new home with a big yard and a family who knows exactly the kind of attention he needs to succeed.”
She thumbed open the phone and scrolled to her gallery, turning the screen so I could see the pictures of Jasper frolicking in the yard and sacked out with his head on his new best friend’s lap.
“I’m so glad,” I said, any remnants of sadness receding. “He’s a great dog. He just needed someone to help direct his energy. Or wear him out.”
“I’m just glad it worked. Are you here for another running buddy?”
“I am. A pup with some endurance, if possible.” My head already felt clearer, but I was pretty sure it would take miles before I felt up to dealing with my feelings about Elena.
She thought for a moment before responding. “Are you up for a challenge?”
“I guess. What kind of challenge?” I asked, suddenly wary.
“Brick is a boxer mix. Not terribly large but he’s all muscle and he’s got a tendency to pull. It’s made it hard to find him a home, despite his sweet nature.” She went behind the counter, reached in the drawer and handed me a well-worn file folder.
I flipped it open and saw a photo of a brindle dog with a big square head and a stocky body. I could see how he might intimidate some people. I scanned the intake form, my gaze stopping on the date.
“Three hundred and eighty days? He’s been at the shelter in a kennel for more than a year?” I couldn’t imagine what that must be like for a dog. I knew Maria loved the animals under her care, but it wasn’t the same as having a home. Having a family who understood you and loved you.
“Lots of people don’t see past the first impression. And pushing people to engage with a dog they’re not equipped to handle is worse than having the dog stay here. Regardless of how long that ends up being.” She shook her head. “I just wish Brick stood a better chance of being seen for who he is.”
“Let’s see if he likes to run.”
I glanced through the rest of the folder while Maria went back to the kennel area to fetch the dog.
Brick, wearing an optimistic Adopt Me bandana around his thick neck, came out first, pulling a straining Maria behind him. The name suited the block of a dog. I set the folder on the counter and hurried to take the leash before he pulled her arm out of the socket.
“Easy!” She scolded the dog, who seemed oblivious to anything but potential freedom. “Are you sure you’re up for this?”
The dog didn’t seem to notice the leash transfer and kept a steady pull toward the front door. I braced against his determined bid for freedom.
“Not at all, but let’s give it a try anyway.” I shortened the leash and tightened my grip, pulling the dog closer to me.
He finally seemed to realize Maria wasn’t holding his leash any longer, and he gave me a cautious look. I knew from his folder he hadn’t had a great experiences with men. I planned to do everything in my power to change that. All while trying not to get road burn from being dragged behind him.
“Easy, Brick,” I said as Maria opened the front door for us.
I kept him tight to my side as we walked through. Some of the rush seemed to have gone out of him now that the promise of outside became real. He still pulled but faced with the tree-lined street with its traffic and noises, he seemed to decide I wasn’t a bad bet and stayed close.
