“I’m so sorry to bother you.” I scanned the table, looking for any evidence Jake was around. Dancing didn’t seem like his thing, but what if he brought a date? Someone who wasn’t too foolish to really see the kind of man he was—brilliant, generous, and sexy as fuck—and they were together on the dance floor. “I’m looking for Jake.” I squeezed the words past my suddenly too tight throat.
“It’s not a bother,” said Mark. “Elena Patrick, this is my wife, Julianna.”
The woman offered me her hand, clasping my fingers for a moment longer than necessary as she looked at me.
“You’re here with John Essex, the developer. I recognize that gorgeous dress from the red carpet,” she explained. “I was hoping to connect with Mr. Essex while he’s in town. I’m chairing an animal shelter fundraiser, and I hoped I might convince your date to become a sponsor. The community goodwill would be a benefit for him as well.”
She glanced over my shoulder, looking for her prey. I felt an immediate kinship with this woman. I had no doubt when she set her mind to something, she got what she wanted. Which meant Jake should be here.
“He’s a client, not a date, and he’s gone for the night. I was hoping Jake might still be here. He did come, didn’t he?” I glance from Julianna to her husband, who suddenly seemed less concerned at shooting daggers my way.
“He made it as far as the entrance with us and then said he wasn’t feeling well and left.” His gaze held mine, as if he was trying to communicate something telepathically.
It took me a few seconds to put things together. Jake had been with them when they saw me arrive with John. I triedto think back over our entrance. To picture what it must have looked like to Jake.
He knew it wasn’t a date. He knew I’d been there with a client. I imagined what I’d feel like if the situation was reversed and I’d had to watch Jake walk in with a beautiful woman on his arm. If everyone around them had assumed they were together. If he’d put his hand on the small of her back. Kissed her knuckles.
My stomach tightened, and I reached out to rest a hand on the back of an empty chair. If the gala wasn’t somewhere I was inclined to go anyway, I could easily imagine feigning sickness to get out of going inside. I felt more than a little sick just thinking of it.
“I’m sorry to interrupt your evening.”
“Not at all,” said Mark. “It was good to see you again under much better circumstances.”
Julianna’s eyes widened, and I realized she’d just put together a few things of her own.
“It was lovely to meet you,” she said, checking me out with renewed interest.
It only took me a second to make up my mind. These people were Jake’s friends. If I was very lucky, they might be mine.
“I don’t think I can help you with Mr. Essex,” I said, not about to push my luck any further than I already had. “But I know someone who might be interested in supporting your cause.” I slipped a business card out of my clutch and passed it to Julianna. “Call me next week if you’re interested, and we can set up a meeting.”
“Absolutely.” She tucked the card into her bag and then paused, considering. “Jake is an exceptional person. He deserves someone who recognizes that.”
“I know. I do,” I said, determined to convince Jake it was true.
27
Isaw—and ignored—Elena’s first three texts when I woke up the next morning. Turning off my phone the night before hadn’t solved anything. It simply let me put off dealing with feelings I didn’t want to have. A plan I intended to take with me into the rest of the day.
ELENA
I met Mark and his wife. I’m sorry you weren’t feeling well.
ELENA
Let me know if you need anything. It would give me a chance to take care of you this time.
ELENA
I know what it might have looked like but John’s just a client. He left early. I’m sorry I missed you.
I didn’t need her to explain anything to me. She hadn’t done anything wrong. Seeing her with Essex just made things clear to me. Essex was the kind of man she belonged with and she wasn’t going to get him wasting her time with me. Disappearing would be doing her a favor. I just wished it didn’t feel so shitty.
My stomach growled with a vengeance. I hadn’t bothered to eat the night before. I’d been too angry to think of it. Not at Elena. At myself for dropping my boundaries, the ones I set to keep my life from going off the rails. For letting myself think it might be okay to try anything more than carefully negotiated rules.
I walked past my wadded-up tuxedo on the floor at the foot of the bed on my way to the bathroom. Nothing good ever happened when I wore the offending clothing. I’d bought it to accept an award, which should have felt great. I’d been at the top of my game professionally—I was higher now—but after my acceptance speech, I’d overheard one of the visiting professors, a woman I’d been interested in, telling her friend she couldn’t imagine having to listen to me drone on every day. She’d used words likeinsufferableandexhausting.
Things just worked better if I stayed in my lane.
