From the looks of it, love, if that’s what it really was, had the opposite effect on Luke. He didn’t look like a man lifted up by love. He looked like he was in pain, beaten down. If that’s what loving her was going to do to him, she didn’t want it for either one of them. He took a breath, and she felt the slight tremor in his hands. She turned her hands so she could hold his for a change, needing to give him whatever comfort she could, even as she tried to sort through this thing between them.
“My mother wasn’t much more than a teenager when she met my father.” He looked past her as he talked, as if he was speaking from memory, but his hands were solid and strong in hers. “She was beautiful. I’ve seen pictures,” he said to clarify. “I don’t remember her. At least I don’t think so, but my father had her pictures all over the house. I guess she wanted a way out of the small town she grew up in, and he fell hard for her. They were married six months after they met, and I was born a year later.”
He blew out a breath, and she rubbed small circles with her middle fingers over the insides of his wrists. At the touch, he looked down absentmindedly and then back up into her eyes. She saw a flash of pain and vulnerability before he shuttered his expression and went on.
“My father was working class. He had a decent job, at least before he started drinking, but he was never going to be a wealthy man. A richer man came along and she left us. Both of us.”
Claire sucked in her breath. Beyond an abstract kind of longing, she hadn’t thought about having children, but she couldn’t imagine what would make a mother leave her baby.
“I’ve tried to think about it from her perspective. What it was like for her to be young and beautiful, stuck in a small town, saddled with a husband and kid.” He shrugged but didn’t elaborate, and she stayed silent, instinctively sensing that he needed to tell her without her input along the way. She had a feeling if she showed him the heartache she was feeling for him, he’d stop talking.
“When she left, my father fell apart, and he blamed me. He drank, and he took it out on me with his fists until I got big enough to fight back.”
He was so matter of fact when he said the words, but she could see how much it cost him, and her heart broke for the little boy who’d been blamed for everyone’s unhappiness from the time he was born.
“For a long time – almost all my life really – I thought it was because he loved her so much; he couldn’t stand it when she left, but that wasn’t it.” He shifted his gaze to meet hers, the question shining in his eyes, and she shook her head.
“That’s not love,” she said. “It’s obsession.”
“I have a hard time telling the difference,” he said, like he was admitting something horrible. “When I walked away from you, I fell apart just like he did. I honestly don’t know if I can live without you. I know I sure as hell don’t want to try, but Claire, I don’t want to hurt you either. I can’t stand being the one causing you pain. I want to make things easier for you not harder. I pray to God, you’ll give me another chance but if you really can’t, if being with me is going to hurt you…” He let the words hang in the air between them, squeezing her hands so she’d meet his gaze. “I don’t know how I’ll do it, but I’ll try to leave you in peace – even if it leaves me in pieces.”
More than anything he’d said, more than the declaration of his love or him finally letting her inside and showing her something of his past, that one sentence was the thing that burst through the walls she’d been trying so hard to build around her heart. That he was willing to walk away if it was what she needed, made her feel like it was love he was feeling and not a twisted kind of obsession.
“I don’t want that,” she said, shaking her head and blinking back tears. God help her, she had no idea how she was going to navigate loving this complicated, damaged man, but she could no sooner walk away than he could.
Hope flared in his eyes, and he brought their joined hands to his lips, brushing a kiss across her knuckles. Feeling the sweet, steady press of his mouth against her skin brought her body roaring back to life. She didn’t know how to resist the man who owned her so completely already.
“You’re crying again,” he said, reaching up to wipe the tears from her cheek.
“It happens,” she said, blinking furiously.
He reached up to cup her face, freezing at the buzz of his phone.
“Answer it,” she insisted. “It might be Mason or the police.” The last thing she wanted was for the police to think she wasn’t willing to cooperate.
Pulling the phone from his pocket with his free hand, Luke thumbed it open and listened for a moment.
“Good,” he said. “Send me your overpriced bill, and this time I will gladly pay it. I’ll tell her.” He said good-bye and hung up, catching her chin with his fingertips and tipping her face to look at him.
“That was Mason. Jackson got a lead on the framers. Between him and Mason, they convinced the police to turn their attention to them. At least for now, you and your crew are out of their sights. They’ll stay on top of it until they find out what happened, Claire. I’ll make sure of it.”
She exhaled in relief. Worrying about when the police were going to swoop in to question her or someone on her crew had taken a toll on her nerves, and she was so grateful to have at least this part of it behind her. And maybe they’d finally get a step closer to finding out who killed Pete, her lead electrician. The more time passed, the more certain she became that his death wasn’t an accident. She wanted to find out who was responsible and then make them pay. Knowing she could trust Luke to do that, was a big thing. She wasn’t alone in this.
“Thank you,” she said, letting her hand rest on the side of his face for a moment.
The stubble from the start of his beard was sand-paper rough against her palm, and she was more than ready to feel it against other parts of her body. Luke was like a drug, and she couldn’t seem to ever get enough. Forcing herself to slow things down from the conclusion they were racing towards, she pulled her hand away and broke off a piece of the sugary donut.
It had been so long since she’d eaten; her mouth actually watered as she took a bite, closing her eyes in pleasure as the powdered sugar hit her tongue. When she let her eyes drift open again, Luke had already polished off most of his first donut, and he was looking at her like she was something to eat.
He watched her take another bite, his gaze drifting from her eyes to her mouth. She licked sugar from her lips and had the purely visceral pleasure of seeing his eyes go dark with desire. God help her, she wanted him, and she didn’t think she was ever going to stop wanting him. She took a sip of coffee, holding the cup with two hands to keep from reaching for him. He finished his first donut and most of the second while he waited for her to finish hers.
Waiting until she slid the last bite into her mouth, he brushed his thumb over her bottom lip before bringing it to his mouth to lick away the stray bit of powdered sugar. The sight of him tasting the sugar, tastingher, sent heat pooling low in her body and had her unconsciously leaning toward him.
He grinned the cocky grin she’d come to love, the one that meant he was thinking of all the ways he could make her mindless with pleasure. But this time there was a tightness around his eyes. It took her a moment to realize it was vulnerability. She wasn’t used to seeing billionaire developer Luke Masters vulnerable to anything or anyone. That he was that way with her, was a balm to her still bruised and aching heart.
If she wasn’t the only one open and exposed this time, maybe they actually had a chance to make something good come from all the pain of the past weeks. She knew it was dangerous thinking, but she couldn’t stop the ember of hope that sprang to life. Maybe.
“Can I take you home with me, Claire? Please.”
He watched her, everything he wanted and needed exposed in his eyes. It was a rare glimpse, a treasure to see his soul shining back at her. Claire’s mind raced with the dozens and dozens of reasons she should say no. A smart woman would, but she’d never been smart where Luke was concerned. And if she was honest with herself, she’d known where they were going to end up when she let him lead her from the parking garage. Praying it didn’t cost her more than she could pay, she nodded and took his hand.
