WON
ONE
LUKE MASTERS FELT THE BITE of the cold concrete through the fabric of his custom-made slacks and decided he didn’t give flying fuck. He’d kneel on broken glass if it got him closer to Claire. For weeks, it was like he’d been living under water, trying to push an impossible weight through his day, barely making it from morning to night. Missing her was an aching, gaping hole in his heart, and he’d do anything, including saying the words he’d never said to anyone before, to get her to come home with him.
“I love you, Claire. I know I fucked up, and I will again,” he said, reaching for the woman who’d become his life. “I’ve never loved anyone before, but I love you. I can’t lose you. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
The tears spilling from her eyes killed him. He couldn’t stand being the one to make her cry, but this close to her – to everything he’d ever wanted and hadn’t been willing to admit to himself – he couldn’t make himself let go. He needed her like he needed air to breathe. More. And he’d do whatever it took to show her she could trust him again. That he could be the man she deserved.
“I can’t,” said Claire as the tears streamed down her beautiful face, her mascara leaving dark tracks against her pale skin. “It almost killed me to walk away from you, Luke. I can’t fall back into the ways things were. I won’t survive it.”
She told him no, but she didn’t pull away from him. He gripped her hips with his hands and let his forehead rest against the soft mound of her belly, pausing for a moment to breathe in the familiar, spicy floral scent that had invaded his dreams and worked its way into every corner of his life. Her slender fingers tangled in his hair, holding him to her, and he took a deep breath, feeling parts of his world slip into alignment again.
She let out a sob, tugging at him to stand. He got to his feet, but instead of stepping away he moved closer, pulling her into his arms, feeling her body shake with her sobs.
“Shh, sweetheart,” he crooned. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry, baby. I don’t want to make you hurt, but I can’t let you go.”
He stroked his hands down her back, feeling the warmth of her skin through the thin silk of her blouse. He knew her curves, knew every inch of her body better than he knew his own, and there was no way he’d walk away from her now. He’d just have to find a way to convince her that things were different. He was different. He loved her, and the reality of that still blew him away. He hadn’t been exaggerating when he told her he’d never said the words before, but God, he did love her.
“We don’t have to go home.” He bit back theyet, determined not to spook her now that he had her in his arms. His love-addled brain grasped for a solution that would give her space and still keep her with him. “Coffee,” he said, seizing on an idea. “Let’s go to the coffee shop around the corner to talk.”
“I can’t. I’m supposed to go talk to the police,” she said, but she didn’t say no or pull out of his arms. He felt the flicker of hope bloom in his battered heart. He’d take his victory in baby steps if it kept her body curled against his.
“Mason and Jackson are in with them now. They’ll take care of everything and call me afterwards,” he said, looking down into her tear-stained face. “Don’t worry. If the police still need to talk to you after they’re finished, I’ll bring you right back. Please, it’s just around the corner. We can be back here in minutes if we need to.” He cradled her face in his hands, brushing away her tears with the pads of his thumbs. The urge to kiss her was overwhelming, but he forced himself to hold back. He wouldn’t risk pushing her.
She gave a small nod, and it was the only permission he needed. Keeping his arm wrapped around her so she stayed tucked tight against his body, he led her to the elevator that would take them to the street level.
CLAIRE ENGLISH FELT like a hole had been ripped open in her chest and filled in just as quickly. She’d spent so many sleepless nights, so many weeks trying desperately to force all thoughts of Luke from her mind. None of it had worked. Standing here, with the long length of his body sheltering hers, she was so afraid of losing everything. She’d barely been able to resist him when he was just a thought on the other side of town. The real man walking beside her had the ability to own her if she wasn’t careful.
She’d give him everything and forget to hold back anything for herself. Then in a few months, when he was tired of playing house again or got scared of commitment, he’d bolt, and she’d be left with nothing. A shell of the woman she was meant to be.
He said he loved her. She’d loved him for so long and ached for him to say the words. Now that he had, she wasn’t sure she could trust him, but she couldn’t seem to walk away. The elevator opened onto the street level of the parking garage, and she stepped out, trying to put some distance between her and the man who could give her heaven or hell.
Luke followed, keeping his hand on the small of her back, and steered them onto the crowded street. He made a path for them through the waves of people, guiding her to the door of the coffee shop where they’d waited for Mason and Mike the last time. When he opened the door, the warm, sweet, yeasty-scented air wrapped around them, and Claire felt her stomach wake up. She thought about when she’d eaten, but she honestly couldn’t remember. Since she’d kicked Luke out of her house weeks ago, her appetite for everything had been practically nonexistent.
They waited a few moments for the server to clear the table and then settled into the booth. Luke sat opposite her, but he kept her hands caught in his much larger ones, and the warmth and weight was as reassuring as it was troubling. When the server came back for their order, Claire asked for coffee and a powdered-sugar donut. She cast a glance at Luke while he ordered, and heat and desire unfurled low in her belly. Apparently hunger for food wasn’t the only thing coming back now that she was close to him. He licked his lips, and it was as if he’d called to her, like he had her body programed to respond to his invisible cues.
She knew it was dangerous. Hell, part of her knew if she sat there with him, talking to him, wanting him, that she’d eventually give in and let him touch her. And when she did that, it would be over. He’d own her again, and she didn’t think there was anyway she’d break free the next time. It was like the rabbit held hypnotized by the snake. She knew the danger, but she couldn’t seem to move away from it.
“I’ve missed you so much, Claire.” His hands cradled her fingers across the table, and the warmth of his touch called to something deep inside her.
She took a deep breath. For the first time in weeks, it didn’t feel like she was trying to breathe while wearing a too-tight corset. The constriction around her chest had eased, replaced by a dull ache.
“Please come home,” he said, the longing clear in his voice.
“It was never my home.” He flinched, but she forced herself to tell him because holding it in would make the inevitable pain that much worse. “I can’t go back to the way things were.” But even as she was telling him no, she let her fingers uncurl like petals in the heat of his hands. She couldn’t be this close to him and not touch him. She couldn’t go back to the way things were, but she couldn’t let go of him either. She was so screwed.
The server set their coffee and donuts on the table in front of them, and Claire used the brief reprieve to try to get hold of her racing heart.
“It won’t be the same. I promise. I’ll do whatever you need. I love you, Claire. I’ve never said that to anyone.”
His dark eyes looked so sure, so sincere, but part of her didn’t understand how it was even possible. How could a grown man have lived his whole life without ever sayingI love you? I didn’t make sense. She grew up sayingI love youand hearing her parents say it every day. What kind of life could he have had where he never said it, not even to his family?
“I don’t understand,” she said. “I can’t believe you’ve never said the words. You had to tell someone – your parents, a pet, grandparents, someone.”
She’d known there were oceans of differences between them, but she’d assumed early on that it was his money that was the biggest one. That wasn’t the case. Not even close.
Loving someone – the right someone – came as easily to Claire as breathing. It was holding back that caused her pain. Curtailing her natural inclination to share herself completely with the man she loved had come close to destroying her. To her, loving someone had always meant completely, no-holds-barred, not keeping anything back or protecting herself. It made her stronger, better, able to do what needed to be done.
