I glanced at him. "Thank you."
We walked to my apartment through the stairway inside the salon, and EJ asked me a few questions about the business side of things, like profit margin on products and services. He was smart, and I could see how he and his brother were making such a success of their gym.
EJ waited in my living room while I changed, and when I came out, he asked me some things about my mosaics. We left while we were still talking about that, and the conversation naturally switched to other things as we were driving.
I set the map to take us to a trailhead I knew about for an easy but scenic hike that would take us about three hours. I had done this trail with myfriends before, and I knew it well. It wasn't a very long or difficult hike, but I would take along some supplies just in case. I knew there was a small convenience store nearby where we could pick up some snacks and water. I brought a backpack with me, and I would stash everything in there to have with us on the trail.
EJ was athletic and irresistible, and taking him on a picturesque hike where he parkoured on rocks and was friendly and wonderful with passersby was probably not the wisest thing to do on my end. I knew he was a rare catch already, and seeing him in action on a hike with a beautiful natural background was a lot to behold. I got through it by not looking at him much. I did glance over, but I had to look at him a minimum amount of times—less than I wanted to.
We made it to the lookout at the top of a hill, and we stopped to eat a snack, talking the whole time. Even then, I hardly looked at him. It was nice to have the scenery to distract me. EJ was not pushing any flirting or physical attention. We were talking and being friends, and that really shouldn't have felt so heartbreaking. I was a good actress, though, and I didn't break character or tell him the truth about my feelings. This weekend would be over soon, and my feelings would likely change. Feelings were good at that, after all.
It had taken us the better part of an hour to drive home from the hike. It was mid-afternoon by the time we got back to my place, and we were bothhungry. We ordered take-out and ate it while watching The Goonies. We talked some more while a reality cooking show was on in the background. I learned a lot about him and his life and business. I asked him questions about it before, but we talked so thoroughly that day that I had a good feel for his mindset and his daily routine.
He told me some about his family. He couldn't help it because he was close to them, it came across in his stories. But I never prompted the conversation about them or asked specific questions. I felt too vulnerable when I started talking about his family.
We talked until midnight. I knew it was midnight because his watch beeped and he glanced at it. He took a deep breath. "I'd better head out," he said. "My flight's at seven, and I'm going straight to the gym when I land. And you… you're going to Italy tomorrow."
"I'm not leaving at seven, though," I said. "I'm sorry I kept you so late." I wasn't sorry, but it was the nice thing to say. I was sorry he would be tired. That was true. But I was happy about the day we shared and upset that it was over.
I knew he was going to kiss me.
We had shared so much, gotten so close, and had so much fun that I figured there was just no way he wouldn't do it.
He stared at me with a smile. "Don't be sorry. I had fun tonight. I'm only leaving now because I know I have to." He stood and stretched. I watchedas he put on his shoes. "I hope your trip is amazing," he said. "Try to fit in everything you can, even if you don't feel like it. You'll be glad when you get back."
"Yeah, I know," I said.
Then he hugged me.
He gave me a tight, meaningful squeeze.
And that was it.
"Thank you for coming here this weekend," I said, dying inside when he broke away.
"Thank you for having me," he answered, his deep voice sounding sincere. "Sleep well. Let me know how your trip went."
He waved at me and walked out of my apartment. There was no walking him to his truck or sappy goodbyes.
And there certainly wasn't a kiss.
My mouth had been ready, expecting it to happen. I had sucked on a mint every hour since ten o'clock. Our conversation was so earnest that I thought for sure it would happen by the end of the night. But he told me to let him know how my trip went, and then he walked out.
It was horrible.
Chapter 15
EJ
He was shaken and frustrated when he left Savannah's house that night. He walked down the sidewalk, staring at the concrete beneath his feet. His heart was beating a thousand miles a minute because of how difficult it had been to keep his hands off that woman. She wanted him to do it. He knew she wanted a kiss to happen. He could see it in her eyes. He could tell by the way she looked at him.
And he couldn’t let himself do it.
He wanted to, and she wanted him to, and yet he walked away.
It was because he wanted more.
EJ found that he could no longer settle for casually kissing Savannah and then pretending they never wanted to see each other again. The more he talked to her, the more he realized he never wanted to leave her. He wanted to see her again, every day of his life. He wasn't willing to settle for what they'd been doing. He wanted to kiss her, but she didn't want it to mean anything, and that just couldn't fly anymore. He was weak, and he wanted her, but he made himself leave without doing it. He told her goodnight, and that was that.
