I burst out laughing. “Nice segue. And we’re not going there yet. How about we start with baby steps? Christopher is going to race at the Fields on Friday. Want to come?”
“Is it okay if I say I’m not ready for that?”
The Fields holds too many memories of Ryder, so I get it.
“Yes, but I won’t take no for an answer about coming to the house on Sunday. Cookout with all the fixings. Everyone will be there. Julien, Elijah, the boys. Daniel and Drew. Aurora?—”
Jayson pushes to his feet. “I don’t know if having me there is a good idea.”
I stand up with him, taking a step closer. I forgot how tall he was. “Iwant you there.”
He heaves a sigh and rolls his eyes. “I could never say no to you.”
I smile brightly at his capitulation. “Good.”
His gaze darts past me again. What does he keep looking at?
When I twist around, he says, “Mom has been watching us the entire time through the kitchen window.”
Sure enough, I spot her silhouette in the window through the trees. Jayson and I have so much more to talk about, but I guess it’ll have to wait. Having this moment with him means a lot. I’ll make sure we have many more of them.
I take his hand and start walking back toward the house. “I’d love some coffee.”
Chapter Thirty
ELIZABETH
Another Adventure
“I didn’t wantto say anything in front of your parents,” I tell Jayson as he walks me to my car, “but I’d like for us to go see Elizabeth Ann soon.”
The last hour sitting on the back porch and drinking coffee went by way too quickly, but I didn’t want to stay too long. Like I told Jayson, baby steps. He needs them, and I need them, too.
“Just tell me when. I’ll buy the plane tickets. I owe you that much.”
He seems to think there’s a universal tally card of his past mistakes that he has to check off, one at a time. Knowing the reason for his absence on Elizabeth Ann’s birthday the last few years, he gets a free pass for instant forgiveness. I regret that I spent all that time angry with him when he was suffering, and no one knew.
“With school starting soon, it’ll get busy at the house. Maybe Labor Day weekend?” I suggest.
“Done. I’ll book the flight tonight.”
“Jayson, you really don’t have to pay for the tickets. I have a ton of frequent flyer miles I can use.”
“Still going to.” We stop next to the car in the driveway. He shoves his hands deep inside his pockets, his silver gaze never straying from my face. “Thank you for coming. I’d like to do it again.”
I fiddle with my car fob. “Of course.”
“Can I call you sometime? Just to…maybe, like, talk?”
“I’d really like that.”
He glances at my house, his expression darkening. He and Ryder were the first to find me and my family that awful morning. I wonder what he sees when he looks at it.
“Anyone living there now?”
“Not at the moment. Jayson?”
As soon as he’s able to tear his gaze away, I launch myself at him, my arms going around his neck. For a second, his hands spasm with uncertainty before his arms come around me. We just hold each other, letting our embrace speak the words we’re too afraid to say out loud.
