I look down when Jayson’s phone slides out from his pocket and lands face down on the floor with a thud.
I pick it up.
My fingers fumble uselessly trying to unlock the screen. I swipe, dial, and press it to my ear.
“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”
“Please help. He’s not breathing,” I sob into the phone. “He was fine. He—he fell asleep. We fell asleep, and—and now—he won’t wake up. Send help.”
I don’t hear what the dispatcher asks next. The phone slips from my hand.
Jayson’s heavy body is dead weight when I cradle him in my arms. “Please don’t leave me.” I press kisses to his pale face and blue lips as I beg him over and over to stay.
But he doesn’t.
He won’t.
Because he’s gone.
He’s gone.
My best friend. The boy who owns all my firsts. The first boy I ever loved. My silver-eyed prince.
And the world breaks around me.
Just as I break with it.
Chapter Fifty-Two
FALLON
Five Days Later
I’ve never felt sohelpless in my life. The woman I love more than anything is hurting, and there’s nothing I can do to fix it. Every tear she cries shreds me open. Every unspoken word as she languishes in silence hurts even more. I’m unable to do anything to ease her pain, and it guts me to watch her suffering.
And I fucking hate feeling this way—inept and useless. How many times can her heart break before it shatters completely and can never be put back together again?
I glance over from where I’m standing in front of the window when Elijah walks into the kitchen. The house has been an endless conveyor belt of people for days, and this is the first moment of peace I’ve had since Monday, short-lived as it was.
I get that everyone wants to be here for Elizabeth, but the nonstop intrusion is annoying. So are the casseroles. What is it with all the fucking casseroles? The refrigerator is overflowing with plastic containers filled with enough food to feed the entire town of Fallen Brook.
“Don’t even think about it,” I warn Elijah when I see the container he’s holding.
“It’s from Freda. Fried chicken.”
Well, fuck. “Fine.” The kids can eat it for dinner. “How are they doing?”
I can’t imagine what they’re going through. Julien lost his twin, Freda and Mitch their son.
“As good as can be expected,” Elijah replies, joining me in my morose solitude of staring out the window. “J wanted to come, but he doesn’t want to make things worse for Liz.”
Elizabeth and Julien had a huge fight the other night. It was bad. One of the things they argued about was Jay’s funeral arrangements. I understand why Julien wanted to keep her out of those decisions, even if I don’t agree with him. Elizabeth is a mess right now. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. She’s not eating. She can’t sleep. She’s barely able to function. And it breaks my goddamn heart.
“How’re you holding up?” he asks.
“Like shit but managing.” The kids are worried about their mother. It’s like a repeat of what happened after Ry passed. I can’t let Elizabeth slip into that dark place again. “I’m trying to keep Charlotte and Chris to their schedules. Make things as normal as possible.”
Which means getting them to school on time, having dinner ready when they get home. Making sure they do their homework. Marcus has been helping. So have Xander and Aurora and Meredith. Daniel and Drew. Knox and Tate are doing what they can at the garage so Marcus can be here. My family is inbound. Harper, Bennett, Jordan, and Douglass are flying here from Texas tomorrow. Tati and Eduardo are coming on Saturday. Sebastian and Holden will come when they can. Both of them have some personal stuff they have to deal with first.
