Reality tilts with a sickening lurch. “When?” Because surely, Jayson doesn’t mean…does he? I spin back around, and the regret I see on Fallon’s face makes me want to vomit. “When?”
“Kitten—”
My nails cut into my palms when I clench my fists. “When?!”
“The guy I hired after?—”
“Stop.” I furiously shake my head to cut him off. Only Ryder, me, and Trevor know about Peter. About what really happened that night. And that secret will remain buried with that evil bastard and never see the light of day. “You knew where I was that entire year?”
“He found you months later.”
Going back to that time, I try to figure out the where and the when. It must have been after I was released from the private facility Daniel kept me in under a false name when I was in a coma.
Swallowing the bile that wants to rise, I ask the one question that will completely destroy me if he says yes. “Did you know about Elizabeth Ann?”
Fallon looks horrified. “Fuck, Elizabeth, do you really think I would be that cruel? I swear I didn’t know. If I did?—”
“If you found me, why didn’t you tell them?” I frantically gesture at Jayson and Julien. “You knew they were looking for me.”
Fallon’s ire meets my own. “But you didn’t remember them. You didn’t remember anything. I wasn’t about to upturn your life again when you were happy. You were happy there. In every picture I was sent, you were smiling. You had a new life with Daniel and Drew. You were safe.”
“It wasn’t for you to decide what was best for me! My life was always here. With them. With Ryder. How could you do that to him? How could you not tell him?”
“Liz, please?—”
I whirl on Jayson. “Shut. Up!”
Ugly silence stretches into forever, thick and unbearable. Fallon’s head lifts, his blue eyes clouded with something close to remorse. “Ry knew.”
Two words.
Two devastating, world-shattering words.
My stomach drops so violently, I might as well have walked off the side of a cliff.
“No, he didn’t.” The denial rips from my throat.
“I told him when we were in Barcelona. He made me promise never to tell you.”
Why would he do that?
Reality doesn’t just tilt—it slants at an impossible angle that can never be corrected.
“Ryder knew?” My voice breaks, along with my heart.
“Yes.”
And just like that, my anger explodes, splintering into something sharp and vicious. “My husbandknew…and he didn’t tell me?” Fallon reaches for me, but I jerk away and throw my fury at the two men who’ve been my everything since I was six years old. “Who else has been keeping my own damn life a secret from me?”
Jayson flinches, pain flashing across his features, and Julien has the audacity to look devastated.
Tears blur my vision. “Fuck you!” I say to them and jab a finger at Fallon. “Fuck you.” Then I look down at the grave where my husband is buried. “And fuck you. None of you had a right to do that. My life ismychoice, whether I remembered it or not!”
Not able to stand there any longer without punching one of them, I take off up the hill. How many times will I be forced to fight the same battle? Why is it so hard for everyone to let me make my own decisions? Good or bad, fail or succeed. It’s my damn choice. I don’t need to be bubble-wrapped from life andplaced in a gilded cage. I may stumble along the way, but I’ve proven over and over that I’m strong enough to survive whatever the world tries to throw at me.
But what I can’t wrap my head around is the fact that Ryder knew since Barcelona and didn’t say anything. I may have lost my memories, but my heart knew where I belonged. It led me to CU. It brought me back to them. It gave me my second chance with Ryder and opened itself up to Fallon…and hurt Jayson.
If Jayson knew where I was, if someone had just told him, that entire year never would have happened. Jayson wouldn’t have started drinking. He wouldn’t have started fighting. His life would have turned out vastly different. All those damnable what-ifs that could be but never got a chance to be fully realized.
