That’s the problem. I do see. I see the damage I caused. I see the broken man I’ve become. I see everything I’ve lost because I allowed fear and love to twist together until they became indistinguishable and then blindly chose the path that anger paved for me.
I peer down at Ryder’s grave. “She’s in love with Fallon.” I saw it tonight when they danced. Liz looked at Fallon the same way she used to look at Ry. And it gutted me.
I will never understand Ry’s loyalty to that narcissistic asshole or Liz’s fascination with him. There must be something they see in him that I don’t because I can’t, for the life of me, comprehend what it is. Fallon is self-serving, self-destructive, and arrogant as hell. He’s the walking embodiment of a richplayboy born with a silver spoon shoved up his ass, where his family’s money has paved his way through life. No consequences for his actions. No repercussions.
Julien’s arm slips from my shoulder, and he crouches in front of the gravestone, his fingertips tenderly swiping across the cold granite. “You need to tell her, Jay. Tell her everything.”
“Tell me what?”
As if Jack Frost touched us with his icy finger, Julien and I freeze in place at the sound of her voice. How much did she overhear?
“Tell me what?” Liz says again, materializing from the darkness.
I don’t like the stony expression on her face. It’s the one she used to get that meant she wasn’t going to let things slide until she got an answer.
Julien quickly stands. “I’ll give you two some privacy.”
I scowl at him and his big fucking mouth. I was going to tell Liz…in my own time and in my own way. Not just drop it on her like a two-ton boulder.
Liz cuts Julien with narrowed green eyes. “I knew something felt off, and whatever it is, you’re neck-deep in it. What does Jayson need to tell me?”
Julien backs up a step. “Not my place, Liz.”
Her verdant gaze slices to me but it’s Fallon who I’m locked onto as he slowly approaches, a grim set to his mouth. If I thought this night couldn’t get any worse, I was wrong.
“Tell me what?” Liz asks a third time, getting angry, her voice rising in frustration.
I wanted Liz to know his secret…and mine…but not like this. Not here.
“Fallon, don’t,” I try to intercede, but it’s too late.
He damns us both when he says, “That I knew where you were.”
Chapter Forty-Two
ELIZABETH
The Lies That Bind Us
What is going on?I feel like I’ve suddenly fallen down Alice’s rabbit hole, where everything is bizarre and different and nothing makes sense.
Not understanding, I turn my confusion toward Fallon. “What does that even mean?” I demand.
Fallon’s shoulders hunch forward, his normally confident posture collapsing in on itself, like a man carrying too much weight for too long. “I was going to tell you.”
Oh my god. Let me off this spinning teacup from hell. “Tell. Me. What?” I shout.
“Liz, let’s go back to the house. We can talk there,” Julien implores, but I’m not having it.
I cross obstinate arms over my chest. “I’m not going anywhere until someone starts making sense.”
“Seattle,” Fallon says, confounding me even more.
“What about Seattle?”
I turn to Jayson, my feet on a pivot, wanting someone to give me a straight answer.
“He knew you were in Seattle.”
