Fallon’s brow arches at my mini-tirade. “Are you done?”
“He has no one else.”
“He has Julien.”
“But heneedsme.”
Fallon somberly shakes his head, like he’s disappointed in me. Tenderly pushing my hair back over my shoulder, he quietly says, “You can’t save everyone, baby.”
Story of my goddamned life, but I can’t—I won’t—fail someone else I love. “I can try,” I reply and walk away, determined to prove him wrong.
Chapter Forty-One
JAYSON
One Last Secret
Sweat tricklesdown my back under the humid summer breeze, my footfalls hasty and crushing the dew-tipped long grass with every heavy step as I try to run from a past that won’t stop coming for me. Halfway down the hill, celebratory cheers rise up, but all I can hear is the ghost of Ry’s voice singing that song. That goddamn song.
My pulse roars in my ears, the white noise drowning out the melody that sealed my fate—the night she chosehim. The night I lost her forever.
I remember coming around the corner of his house, the way Ry’s voice had carried across another firelit night, and Liz’s jubilant “Yes!” when the song ended. And now, tonight—the same song, another proposal—like history is laughing in my face, wanting to remind me that Liz will never be mine again. That she will always be destined to love someone else.
The hill slopes downward, leading me toward the dark outline of the tall magnolia tree. Moonlight filters through its branches, its pale blossoms a ghostly white against the darkness.Next to it is the silhouette of cold stone with Ry’s name chiseled into it.
Sometimes I wonder if things would be different if I didn’t kiss her that night. What would’ve happened if I stood aside and let Ry be her first? First love—the love of youth where blossoming hormones and discovering sex for the first time—is a beautiful fiction destined to fail. It burns bright and hot, but it never lasts. I was naïve to think that it would.
Gripping the coin on my necklace, I stare at his name. “Why do I get the feeling like you’re testing me?”
Footsteps rustle the grass, and I exhale a sigh of exasperation when Julien calls my name.
“Jay.”
“Go back to the party, Jules.” Of course, he doesn’t. He comes closer.
“I will. After you tell me you’re okay.”
I don’t look at him. If I do, he’ll see right through me. “I’m fine. Can’t I have one fucking moment without someone breathing down my neck?”
Julien plants himself right next to me, letting me know that he’s not going anywhere. “It wasn’t intentional. You know that, right? Trev didn’t do it to hurt you.”
The cynical part of me calls bullshit. Liz told Trevor that I was coming tonight. He fucking knew. “You have no damn idea what this feels like, so don’t stand there acting like you do.” My chest heaves, my hands shaking. “You didn’t lose the love of your life. You didn’t—” I clench my jaw, fighting to regain control. I can’t let myself go down that all too familiar dark path. The one that leads to the bottom of a liquor bottle.
“And you didn’t watch your best friend be put in the ground. You weren’t here to see Liz fall apart and not be able to help her.”
I suck in a harsh breath that doesn’t reach my lungs. “Don’t you dare throw that in my face. You know why I couldn’t be here.”
Silence falls between us, as viscid as the summer air.
I go stiff when Julien wraps an arm around me. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for and a really shitty thing to say. I didn’t know before, but I know now, and I’m so damn proud of you. I’m sorry for not seeing it, and I regret the things I said to you.”
The fight we had was a blessing in disguise. It forced me to face my demons and finally get help. What’s that saying about hitting rock bottom when things seem to be at their worst? Even in the darkest of moments, there is always hope.
I had hope, only to have it ripped away from me when…when…
I press against my temple to rub the tension away. “It’s fine, Jules.”
“It’snotfine. I was too caught up in Liz’s pain, in my own, and I failed you in a big fucking way. And you’re wrong about one thing. You didn’t lose everything, Jay. You just refuse to see what’s right in front of you.”
