My choice.
There’s a second of hesitation from him before his arms band around me and his mouth opens to mine. I tangle my tongue with his, his lips so soft yet firm and oh, so wonderful. He makes a guttural moan fusing our mouths tighter together. I started out the aggressor – again, my choice – but now he’s the one taking control. A decade’s worth of unrequited love and passion pour into this kiss. I shut my thoughts off and just exist in the heady pleasure Ryder is giving me.
My choice.
Ryder
As soon as Elizabeth’s tongue touches mine, I’m fucking done for. My desire for her overrides my conscience, and to repeat what she said to me earlier tonight, I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting this. Tired of always being the one to walk away. Tired of watching Jay take what should have been mine. Because she’s always been mine, even when she wasn’t. If this is my one opportunity to kiss her the way I have fantasized about, the way I crave to, I’m taking it. Consequences be damned. Jayson be damned.
I seize control of our kiss. Elizabeth needs to know what I’ve been holding back all these years. What could be hers if she takes the chance if she takes that leap with me. So I lay myself bare and exposed to her, giving her everything I have in me with this kiss.
I clasp her neck to angle her head, delving deeper into her warm, luscious mouth. She tastes like sunshine and sweet nectar, and I’m instantly addicted. I suck and nibble, devour and tease, each stroke of my tongue with hers causing an explosion of lust and desire. I want more and apparently so does she.
“Don’t stop, Ryder,” she pants breathlessly before we attack each other’s lips again. Her little mewling moans are driving me fucking crazy.
I stand up with her clinging to me, her mouth ravenous as it licks and kisses along my neck and face. She’s as hungry for me as I am for her. And I’m not going to stop. Our bodies slam up against the wall, pressing so intimately together, you wouldn’t be able to tell where she begins and I end.
“Yes,” she gasps and grabs at my shirt yanking at it. “Off. I need this off. Right now.”
With my weight pressing against her soft curves, I lift her higher with one arm, while reaching behind for my shirt collar with my other hand and pulling it over. Her light green eyes spark with desire. Once my torso is completely exposed and bare for her, she releases her grip from around my neck to explore. Her hands mold to every inch of my chest, mapping every muscle and dip she finds.
“I’ve always loved looking at you, but this is so much better,” she mumbles, a tinge of awe in her voice.
It makes me feel like a fucking god. She splays her hands over my upper torso and rubs her thumbs across my hardened nipples. My cock jumps and expands painfully behind my zipper, begging to be buried deep inside of her. Elizabeth reaches down and lifts the hem of her shirt up, eyes like wicked green fire lighting me up, daring me to touch her. A flash of red catches my attention, and like flames doused with cold water, my conscience rears its ugly head and tells me to stop.
“Elizabeth, we can’t.” God, that’s so painful to say. I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.
“What?”
Because I’m a bastard, I press one last kiss to the top of her half-covered breast before I release her. I guide her long legs that were wrapped around my waist slowly down until she’s able to stand. “We need to stop.”
“Why?” she sounds hurt.
I gently tug her shirt back down into place and carefully pull at the chain I know is dangling under her shirt between her breasts. I lift it out and pinch Jayson’s promise ring between my fingers making sure she sees it. The four red rubies mock me, reminding me Elizabeth is not mine to take.
“This is why.”
She looks down at it and covers my fingers with her own. “That’s bullshit. Jayson isn’t the only one I promised myself to. I gave my love freely to Julien and to you as well. You stole a piece of my heart the first day I met you. The day you sat beside me on the rug in class. The day you made me laugh in the library. My heart has been as much yours as Jayson’s since the day we met. And I’m done letting everyone make decisions for me. I won’t do it anymore. How do I know what I want if I’m never given a choice, never given a chance to decide for myself? Maria was right.” That takes me by surprise, but Elizabeth continues before I’m able to say anything. “She said I was selfish. That I wanted everything but was willing to give up nothing. In a way she’s right.”
Elizabeth clutches my shirt in her fists as if to beg. “I want you, Ryder. I want to be able to explore what this is between us. I don’t want to live in anymore what ifs. Watching Marshall try and run you off the track last night…something snapped inside me. The thought of losing you, of not having you in my life,” she chokes up, not able to continue.
My pulse is hammering so hard it shakes my body. The words my dad said to me a long time ago come back to the forefront of my memories once again. He told me that Elizabeth needed to be given time to figure out what she wanted. She needed to be allowed a chance to choose her future.
“What about Jayson?”
“I love Jayson. I love him so much. I need him.”
The dreams that were beginning to swirl and morph scatter at her words, but then re-form when she brings her lips up to mine and says, “But I love you too. I need you too. There is no future for me without all three of you. I need this Ryder. I need to know our what if. Things can’t continue the way they are now. Me with Jayson but wanting you too.”
“Jayson isn’t going to sit back and allow you to be with me and not him. You know that. And I’m not sneaking behind his or Julien’s backs.”
“I know, and I’m not asking you to. This is so fucked up.”
“What doyouneed, Elizabeth?”
“I honestly think I need some time. I need time to think about what I want and make a decision. A decision thatIchoose.”
“How much time do you think you’ll need to decide?” I’ve been waiting for Elizabeth for almost ten years. I can wait a little longer.
