“Where’s our boy?” I ask.
“Believe it or not, he and Ryder are playing video games together. It’s the first time they’ve stayed in the same room other than when we eat, so I tiptoed out of there like a silent ninja,” she grins.
“I’m happy to hear that.”
“Yeah, me too. I know everything is so weird between all of us now. Seeing them together like old times gives me hope.”
“They both love you and want you to be happy.”
“I love them, too.”
“They know. And I’m here for you, too. And for them.”
“You’ve been really great with all of it. Thanks for being there for both of them.”
We sit in silence, watching the night sky and listening to the rhythmic pounding of the waves against the shore.
Elizabeth’s head lifts from my shoulder. “Julien? What’s going on with you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Just like I know those two boys inside, I also know you. You’ve been quiet this entire week. Want to talk about it?”
This girl has been my heart since the day I met her. Like my brother and Ryder, I love her. It’s a profound type of love. One of friendship, a love of trusting that the other person holding your heart does so with care, that they will protect and cherish it. The type of love that you trust your deepest secrets to. Everyone thinks because Jay and I are twins, we have this unbreakable bond. We do. My brother is everything to me. But there are some secrets rooted deep within my soul that I can’t tell him. Secrets that scare me. I take Liz’s hand and link our fingers together.
“It’s complicated.”
She chuckles. “Um, have you seen my life recently?”
I release a dejected laugh. She’s right, this past week has been a shit show of messed up proportions.
Five minutes go by as our gazes remain locked on the dark horizon illuminated by a half moon.
“I like Elijah,” I say out of nowhere.
“I heard you two have been hanging out with each other a lot lately. He’s a good guy.”
“No, Elizabeth. IlikeElijah.”
Her head whips around. I wait. I can see every emotion flashing across her expressive face. I can also see when understanding hits her.
“Oh.Oh!”
I pick up some sand with my left hand and let it drift through my fingers, counting how long it takes for all the grains to fall, like an hourglass counting down time.
“Are you...does he...does he like you back?” she finally gets out. I shake my head no.
“He doesn’t know how I feel. It’s so stupid. I know he would never like me like that. It’s stupid. I’m stupid,” I groan.
“Julien, you are not stupid.”
“I am. Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
“I first realized I was, well, the way that I am, that day at Jay’s swim meet. Remember that day when he went up against Elijah and then we all met Elijah after when he came over to congratulate Jay?”
“Do you mean that time he asked for my number but the three of you knuckleheads scared him away? Or after, when you all lectured me on why I wasn’t allowed to date anyone and treated me like I was a baby?” she accuses, kicking sand at my feet. “Oh, yeah, I remember that day.”
