“I don’t mind.” It should horrify me that it wasn’t a lie.
Energy moved through the space, and she shifted anxiously on her feet. “They’re happy here.”
“Because they’re safe here.” I proclaimed it like a statement.
“It’s the only thing I want them to be.”
I shifted a fraction, moving an inch closer to her. Shadows danced along the defined angles of her cheeks. “Need you to know that you’re safe here, too. Won’t let anyone get to you.”
Emotion rippled across her face. “I didn’t think that I would ever feel that way again. Safe. But I do.”
A buzz of something I didn’t recognize burned in my chest.
Playing a fool’s game, I lifted a hand and let the knuckle of my index finger drag down the defined curve of her jaw. “Want you to be happy here, too.”
What the fuck was I saying? But I did. I wanted to erase the fear and uncertainty that shone in that fathomless gaze.
Wanted to see it shine with that hope.
To reignite her faith and her joy.
Wanted to hear her laugh the way she used to when she sneaked into my room. Share my nights with her, laughing and eating Red Vines.
A complete fool who kept forgetting it all ended in tragedy.
Wistfulness skimmed over her lips, and her words were just as soft. “I want you to be happy, too, Cash.”
She didn’t know that was something I was never going to be.
“As long as you’re all safe, then I’ll be just fine.” My attention flitted over her silhouette hugged in the shadows. Taking her in like she was an apparition. A ghost that had haunted every single one of my days. “Still can’t believe you’re here,” I grunted low.
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed. “I missed you so much.”
I missed her, too, but I didn’t have the right to say it. And still, I was pressing closer, breathing her goodness in like she might be able to soothe some of the ache that throbbed inside.
I’d been so satisfied in the loneliness.
Pacified in the solitude.
A quiet punishment that I would languish in forever.
I reached out and caressed my thumb gently over the tattoo on her wrist. Wishing I didn’t know full well what it meant. A tremble rolled through her at my touch.
“You were never supposed to miss me.” It was grit.
Disbelief filled her features. “Did you think I wouldn’t? Did you think you’d walk away, and I would forget you?”
Shame clutched me in a fist. “No. You were supposed to hate me.”
Pain slashed through her expression, and she reached up and ran her fingertips down my jaw.
Fuck, I needed to push her away.
But it felt so good.
The barest brush against the seclusion I’d sentenced myself to.
“I could never hate you.”
