Did I just smash together two conflicting baseball metaphors? Whatever—the only thing I actually like about that sport is when the camera zooms in on the catcher’s ass in those tight pants.
The week has been busy as hell. There’s no such thing as a grace period for the first year associates, that’s for sure. And I have to admit, even though I’d never actually say it to his face, I’m glad I decided not to take Charlie’s offer and instead started out at a new firm where I’m on equal footing with all the other “baby lawyers” as Cait calls us. At least now I know whatever advancements I make, or privileges I’m awarded I well and truly earn through my work performance, and not just because I’m “Charlie’s Boy.” My old collogues were nice enough, but I wouldn’t blame them if they’re relieved to see the back of me. It would have been difficult not to notice the blatant favoritism Charlie bestowed on me, and I’m sure the thought that Charlie and I might be sleeping together crossed a lot of people’s minds at least once or twice. Being amongst the first years now, I can imagine a fair bit of resentment building up toward anyone having such close ties with one of the partners, so I think I might have dodged a bullet there.
Something tells me I’m not going to have that issue with Leona…
“Do you know why I hired you?” she asks, stalking around her office on sky-high heels. I’ve seen her coming and going a few times this week and I keep getting the impression she’s someone who doesn’t like sitting still.
She’s young for the position she holds in the company—late thirties, maybe? I’m not a good judge of women’s ages, though, so for all I know she could be forty-five and just takes really, really good care of herself. I kind of want to ask her what her skincare routine is, because her dark complexion is flawless. I’m not sure that’d go over too well, though.
“Um…because Tanner Grimsey asked you to?” I really hope that’s not the reason, but I feel like I need to hear it.
She pauses in her step, her straight black hair swishing around her shoulders as she turns to arch a brow at me. “Of course he didn’taskme to. We hire on merit at this firm, Skyler,” she says pointedly. “Not because of who someone might know.”
Well, there’s a dig if I ever heard one.
“He mentioned that I might want to find a few minutes to take a look at your resume,” she clarifies. “That was all. Tanner’s not someone who usually makes suggestions like that. He doesn’t like to interfere in how other people run their business. So, obviously, I was curious. I was impressed by your resume, which is why I asked to meet you. And you excelled in your interview, which is why I decided to hire you.” She starts walking around again, and I can’t help being impressed at the way she’s able to maneuver on those heels. “I’m telling you this to make sure you’re aware that here at Reyes Carter Loeb we only hire quality. Every single one of your colleagues has come to this firm with a resume just as impressive as yours. Each one of them is just as smart, just as capable, just as dedicated.”
I nod. “I’ve seen that for myself already.”
“We expect a lot from our associates,” she continues as though I hadn’t interrupted. “And I, in particular, expect a lot from the first years. And I’m not just referring to the workload.” She halts again and issues me with a level look. “Don’t feel as though I’m calling you out, Skyler. I’ve had this exact conversation with each one of you, and, trust me, no matter how brilliant and shiny you seem, you all havesomethingthat could cause you to buckle, and it’s part of my job to prepare you.”
“I really don’t—”
She holds a hand up, cutting me off. “I have no concerns regarding your ability, or your tenacity. You’re clearly incredibly driven, and ambitious, and dedicated—those are all good things, Skyler. But your Achilles heel is that ego of yours.”
I feel heat touching my cheeks. “Um…”
She rolls her eyes and waves a dismissive hand at me. “Stop freaking out, it’s not a big deal. This isn’t a judgment on your character, and from everything I’ve read, it’s well-earned,” she adds with a slight smirk. “Trust me, it’ll serve you well when you start climbing, so don’t do anything stupid like take some whacked-up spirt journey or have a near-death experience that puts everything into “perspective”,” she warns me, lifting her fingers to make air quotes.
My brows shoot up. “Uh…okay, I’ll try.”Not to get myself nearly killed…
She sighs, shaking her head. “Look, my point is that right now you’re a first year associate who hasn’t officially made it into the Bar yet, which puts you rather low on the pecking order.”
I nod, feeling a little confused. Is she having another crack at Charlie? She must be aware that he’d been fully prepared to fast-track my journey up the ladder, but if I’d wanted to take the shortcut I’d still be at Campbell Nixon. “I know. I’m aware of that.”
Leona quirks a brow at me. “I hope you are. I want you to succeed here, Skyler, so I hope you’re prepared for the years ahead of biting your tongue and swallowing your pride. I know I sure as hell wasn’t.”
I blink at her in confusion. “You…weren’t?”
Her lips twitch in a barely-there wry smirk, and I get the strange feeling I’ve been caught out somehow. “Kind of dumb, right? I was a scholarship kid, a woman, and a Black woman at that. And I spent my entire school life from kindergarten to law school graduation learning to harden myself against all the bullshit that comes with that. And I did that by being the best. I worked harder than everyone else, I learned more, I performed better. Because test scores were something definitive I could hold up as proof whenever anyone tried to insinuate I wasn’t worthy.” She pauses for a moment and offers a wry smirk. “And, yeah, it was fun kicking all that rich white boy ass when I got to law school—just ask Charlie Campbell why he was only ever number two.”
Well, that answers the question about her age, I guess. And, damn—has their rivalry been going for, like, fifteen years? That’s insane.
“But when I came here, fresh out of Harvard, I thought things would be different. I mean, this is a diverse firm. We have two POC and two female name partners, and when I started here twelve years ago at least four of the other equity partners were Black. I was a brand new associate who’d just bossed my way through law school, and I was certain I had the ability to crush anything or anyone that got in my path. So you can imagine the kind of reality check I had to go through once it became obvious that I wasn’t the queen of my own destiny—I was at the bottom of the food chain. And here I am, twelve years later, still clawing my way up that chain.” She says the words simply, as though she’s merely stating a fact, but I can hear a rueful tint in her tone.
“You seem pretty majestic to me,” I say with a smile. Yeah, okay, that’s laying it on a bit thick. I can’t help it, though; she’s cool. In a scary-as-fuck, don’t-get-on-her-bad-side kind of way. I get why Cait loves her so much. And why Charlie doesn’t. It has nothing to do with her gender or race; they’re just both very strong personalities. There’s a reason they don’t put lions and tigers in the same enclosure at the zoo.
Leona lets out a breath of amusement. “You’re sweet. But are you getting my point, Skyler? I assume you know what happens to animals at the bottom of the food chain?”
“They get eaten by predators?”
“Exactly. All you associates are just gazelles doing what you can to survive, and the partners are the lions circling, ready to tear out chunks of your flesh.”
“Should I be flattered that you called me a gazelle?” I ask. “They’re very beautiful creatures.”
She rolls her eyes, muttering, “Tanner warned me about this—I thought he was exaggerating…”
“Sorry,” I say a little sheepishly. When someone starts referencing “The Circle of Life”, it’s a little hard to remember you’re in a serious business meeting with your boss.
