Ah. Priya swallowed.
How lonely it was, to have power. How lonely.
Priya was glad suddenly, of the home she’d left behind. The broken regent’s mahal. Billu lording over his kitchens, and Khalida’s glares; Ganam, grumpy and steady and sure, and even Kritika with her fanatic desire for a better world. And Rukh growing taller and stronger, more sure of himself every day, as Padma learned to kick her tiny legs and shape the shadows of words, grasping the world with her fingers like every little bit of it was wondrous to her. Maybe by the time she returned home, Padma would be walking in truth.Speaking.For all that she feared for her family—for Bhumika, forallof them—she still had the hope that something golden and true was waiting for her.
“Hold on to me, then,” Priya said, and pressed her lips to Malini’s eyebrow, her cheek, her jaw. Drew her down onto the bed.
It was hours later, in the dark after the candles had died, when Priya finally turned and touched her forehead to Malini’s. Shared breath with her again.
“I’ll do it. If it comes to it… I’ll fight with all I have.”
Malini’s next exhale was a shudder. She cupped Priya’s cheek. Said nothing, as Priya whispered battle plans to her like they were love stories.
“When this ends,” Malini said finally, in a voice like a scrap of silk—like a fragile weft against Priya’s lips, her hands. “When I am alive and I am empress. When you have everything I’ve vowed to you and Ahiranya…” Silence, as Malini cupped Priya’s waist with a hand; as she stretched her fingers wide, as if she could encompass it, hold Priya and keep her. “I’ve dreamt of garlanding you,” Malini confessed. A small, secret thing. “Flowers around your throat, and you garlanding me in turn. The two of us making our own promises to each other. I’ve dreamt of naming you my own. My heart. My wife.”
Priya swallowed. Her heart ached, and it was like her whole self ached with it.
“That’s a cruel thing to let yourself dream of,” she whispered. “Isn’t it?”
“It is,” Malini agreed, sounding wretched and yet sweet, sweet because she was Priya’s. “And yet. Women could marry women once in Ahiranya. And in my foolish dreams I can’t forget that.”
Priya blinked back tears. Silly of her. They were like children, weren’t they? Wanting things they shouldn’t, when there were bigger things than the both of them shaping the world, and those forces would wash them away without a care. There was something living in Priya’s skin and her soul. There was a throne waiting in Malini’s future. And yet. And yet.
She took Malini’s hand from her hip and guided it up, until Malini’s warm fingers were against the nape of her neck. Until Malini was drawing Priya close, and Priya’s fingers were moving, tracing Malini’s bare ribs, her breasts; the flower at her throat.
This is my garland.Her own fingers, pressing against the chain at Malini’s neck, and the flower that lay there. Malini’s hand on her skin.And this is yours.
Perhaps Malini understood, because she cupped the back of Priya’s neck and kissed her deeply, sweetly. Traced a circle, ever so gently, against the first point of Priya’s spine.
This could be the last time, Priya realized. The last time they lay next to each other in the dark. The last time they were both together and alive. The last time they kissed.
But oh, how Priya hoped it would not be.
The morning came, cold and pale, and the army readied itself for war.
Priya found Sima sitting with Lata. When Priya approached, Lata rose to her feet, giving Priya a nod of greeting before walking away.
“What were you talking about?” Priya asked.
Sima shook her head.
“It doesn’t matter. What is it, Pri?”
Priya stepped forward. Kneeled down.
“Please,” said Priya. “Don’t follow me into the next battle. The last one was—bad.”
“Terrible,” Sima agreed.
“This one is going to be worse,” Priya said. She’d seen the look on Malini’s face—haunted, almost gutted by the knowledge that both failure and success were so very close, but failure was closer. “I… I’d feel so much better if you stayed away. Like Lady Deepa.”
“I’d rather be like Lady Raziya,” said Sima. “Leading my own little army around.”
Sima shuffled closer to Priya.
“You made a promise to me, Pri,” she added. A quiet, firm voice. “You promised I’d be by your side in the next battle. Well, it’s here.”
“It is.”
