“But you are his mate. You will carry his kit.” Sessah is frowning fiercely. His fists clench. “It is not fair that he takes the only unmated female in our tribe and then casts heraside!” Furious, he storms away.
I flinch at his words, hugging my arms to my chest. “I hate that he is so upset.”
“He is young,” Taushen says, moving toward me. He squeezes my arm, his expression rueful. “He has not yet learned what it is to wait. He will, though.”
I sigh. “It would have been much easier if I had resonated to one of the tribe’s hunters, I know. But I do not choose.” And I would not choose anyone but Mardok. I love him. The moment he appeared, I knew he was mine.
“The khui chooses,” Taushen agrees. He rubs my arm and then pauses. “If he does not stay and you need a father for your kit, I will be that hunter for you, Farli.”
I blink in surprise. “What—”
“It does not have to be pleasure-mating, though I would take that in time. It would be enough for me to know you are cared for. You and your kit.”
I feel like crying. “You are a good hunter, Taushen. You are going to make a female a very good mate someday.”
His smile is sad. “Someday.” He gives me a pat on the shoulder and then leaves.
My heart feels as if it is breaking. I do not want Mardok to leave. I do not want to leave with him. But what do I do? What can I do? Choking back the sob rising in my throat, I push my way out of Chahm-pee’s hut and race through the village, heading toward a place I know there will be comfort.
My mother’s house does not have her privacy screen up, and inside I can smell her favorite spicy tea. I give a polite scratch at the doorway to let her know I am here, and when she looks up, I fling myself inside and into her arms, sobbing.
“Oh, Farli,” Kemli says, surprised. She strokes my mane and holds me close. “What is it, my sweet one?”
“Why is resonance so awful?” I weep. And then I think ofMardok’s mouth on mine, his smiles, the way he touches me. “And so wonderful, too?” It feels as if I am being torn apart by the thing I love the most.
My mother just gives a knowing chuckle. “Because it is resonance. It does not ask how your heart feels. It just chooses.” She clucks and holds me close. “Come sit with me. Unburden your heart.”
She sits in her furs, and I put my head in her lap, like I did when I was a kit. She strokes my hair and waits patiently. I sniff. “Resonance is not as easy as I thought it would be.”
“I imagine yours is different than most,” my mother says. “Your mate is a stranger. Is he kind to you?”
“He is…but he does not wish to stay.” The tears start to flow again. “I want him to stay here, and he says he does not want to be left behind.”
She strokes my hair again, making a soft humming noise of acknowledgment. “It is a hard place to live. Look at how much of an ordeal it was for Shorshie and her people. When they arrived, little Air-ee-aw-nuh cried for two seasons straight, remember?”
I do. Some of the humans were miserable. Only their mates and now their kits made them happy. They still talk about the weather and the cold and the lack of things they used to have on their planet. “He would be giving up a lot to stay…but am I not enough?”
“That is a question you must ask him, my kit.” Her hands are soothing, and her presence calm. “Does he like anything here?”
“He likes me.” I sit up suddenly, looking Kemli in the eye. “He asked me to go with him, Mother.”
She is surprised. “Is such a thing possible?”
“Their machines can remove my khui. I could go with him.” The idea terrifies me, because I know nothing of his world orhis people, and what I have seen so far with his companions, they are not as warm and friendly as my own people.
Mother’s eyes widen. “What does that mean for resonance?”
I spread my hands. “Without a khui, we have no bond other than how we feel.”
“And a kit?” she asks gently.
I do not know that, either. “I am not sure what to do, Mother.” I clasp her hands in mine and beg her. “Help me.”
“Oh, Farli. This is not something I can decide for you.” She pulls me into her arms and hugs me tight. “If it will make you happy, go with him. If it will not make you happy, stay.”
“If I leave, I will never see you again,” I tell her fretfully.
“And if you stay, you will never see him again.” She cups my face in her hands. “Only you can decide where your path will take you.”
