“My brothers and sisters like doing their research as their assignments play out, but I don’t. I like researching everything beforehand, and you, dear little sinner, have had a very tragic life.”
Have I? I thought this was normal, but the way he said tragic sounded more like a pout than anything else. Not pity, not anything other than ‘your life was terrible and that is terrible for you, but I don’t actually care’.
I found a sort of comfort in that.
“One of the first to be born in the church since it was founded. Cane to your stomach,” he instructed.
I moved the cane to my stomach, hearing my life story as if it were nothing. Because it was nothing.
“Mother training you to be the perfect little follower until her untimely passing when you were 12, but lucky for you, you had already been betrothed to Thomas by that point. Betrothed at 9.” Another uncaring pout. Mocking, I would say. “The Leaders of the church took a liking to you, didn’t they?”
Yes, they had.
All of them.
Including the Pillars.
I should have fought harder. I should have been braver. I should have run.
“You were proclaimed a Favorite for a long time, but now? Now you just are. Cane to chest.”
I slid the cane up to my chest, the pain from the lashings causing my muscles to tighten. I tried to keep them clean the best I could, but it was so much harder when I was tired.
Luckily for me, Thomas had put me in a long-sleeved black lace shirt that had a high collar. It was the only thing between the leather corset and my skin, but I think it was his way of hiding the wounds on my chest from Azrael.
“A very special Favorite, the Chosen One, I’ve heard.” He was quiet. “Trace the cane over your injury.”
I felt myself swallow against my will, my eyes burning. Nobody knew of the injuries except for Thomas and his father, I assumed. But Azrael was like me, he even said as much. He saw everything, so I shouldn’t have been surprised that he saw that.
I carefully lifted the cane just enough to ease the pressure from my body and started to trace out the lashings Thomas had left on me.
There was never any pressure from the other side, but I knew he was holding it. I could feel it. Feel his hand wrapped around the other end, feel his warm gaze grow slightly chilling as I continued to trace.
When I was done, I lifted the cane back to my chest, unsure what he wanted me to do with it afterwards.
“Well, deary me, whatever shall I do?” he sighed, making a show of it. He slid into silence, and I could almost hear his mind working, feel his eyes trained on my ribs, watching, thinking.
After a minute passed, I felt the cane shift. “What other rules will you bend and break?” he asked, that lilt and warmth back. “Posing is easy, so let’s push some boundaries, hmm? The unspoken motto of this church is ‘Purity’. They all believe in it. If you’re touched, if you’re taken by a man that is not your betrothed or taken before you marry, if you speak or make eye contact to or with anyone, then you’ve become damaged goods. Obedience is key to this lifestyle, but more so within the women and children.
“I like some obedience but not too much, what I don’t like is when my obedient little pets obey others. Contradictions,however, are my ‘pet peeves’ as they say. So, let’s make up another rule, hmm? Just for the little sinner and the Devil’s ghost that haunts this church.”
I hadn’t moved a millimeter, but my ears, which had been hearing nothing but roaring these last couple of weeks, were hanging onto every single word that fell from his lips. It was the only thing I could hear now.
Just him. Just Azrael.
“They can’t see us,” he reminded me. “They can’t hear us. In this room, you are mine, do you understand me? You will do what I say, when I say, how I say. No matter what their rules are.”
Again, my dead heart pounded once, as if the stone around it were slowly cracking.
He moved forward just enough to adjust the cane. “They take your silence as understanding, but I’m going to need something more. They stole your voice from you so let’s make a new one.” He paused. “Tap your finger. Once for yes, understood?”
My heart was beating in my ears now. I wasn’t allowed to respond. I wasn’t allowed to do anything but act like this.
He knew the rules, he understood this.
“Games are notfun, my little sinning doll, unless I am playing them. Do not make me repeat myself to you.”
I felt myself swallow again, a sweat breaking out across my brow, my muscles in my stomach tightening.
