“If he touches you, I’ll kill you, do you understand me?”
He didn’t expect an answer, so I didn’t give him one. I would never be able to tell my guest ‘no’, so my response, whatever it was, would be wrong, and be a cause for punishment.
I hoped he did touch me. I hoped he took away all of my purity so that I could finally die.
Who’s hands would be the last ones I ever felt? Would it be Mr. Bastrom? Mr. Alascer? Mr. Kels? Mr. Young? Who was coming into the room today? I hope he killed me.
Thomas bent me over the table, twisting my legs together, and pulled my arms out to either corner, bending my fingers over the edge.
I winced, the pain in my chest screaming through me as the position pulled at the scabs across my breasts.
Maybe this position meant that I wouldn’t have to suck today. Maybe I would just be watched.
I stared at the spot on the wall and waited, resting my chin on the table. My breathing shallow, my muscles already tight from not doing this for two weeks. I hadn’t been stretching at my house lately because I was too tired. So I was two weeks out of practice, and it hurt.
God, it hurt more today though. I hadn’t been put in this position since before my lashings. It burned. It brought tears to my eyes. I wondered sometimes if mother knew that this was how they were going to treat me when she gifted me to Thomas. She had taught me so much about being a Favorite, but she never told me how to react when they kept breaking the rules and punishing me for it.
If she knew, what kind of person did that make her?
A warmth flooded over my back the second the door opened again.
I didn’t have it in me to react, but my heart tried to do something. It was uncomfortable, but I felt it.
Azrael was back.
I hadn’t felt him in service these last two weeks. I thought it was just one of those times, but maybe he had just been doing an extra special transportation task for Pastor Masters to earn his way back here.
He was the first new member to come down this hall in years. Not even the sons of the Leaders were allowed down here other than Thomas, of course. So, I couldn’t help but wonder what made Azrael so special.
Was he a Leader now?
Was he still transporting for the church?
He shut the door, his steps silent on the carpet. “Hello, little sinner.”
I had never wanted to speak more in my entire life, but it had been so very long, and I was so very tired. If I could speak though, perhaps I would have said something like…
“Hello, Azrael.”I would have said it in a way that made him pause. I didn’t ever want to get married, but I would do anything to make his eyes stay on me and only me for the rest of my days, however short those may be now.
“He put you in here like this?”
I remained quiet, finding comfort in that cold lilt he had to his voice. The hum of insanity, I now called it. That’s what it sounded like. Like he had finally cracked.
When I didn’t respond, he said, “The cameras are playing a prerecorded video of me and a girl in a wig who looks just like you. They can’t see us right now.”
Why? Did he not want them watching? How did he get back here? How did he find a girl that looked like me and what had he done to her? When had he done all of this? How had he gotten the brand-new room first?
“Are you mute?” he asked, his voice traveling around the room like a snake seeking its prey. “I know you react. I’ve seen it.”
That seemed odd because nobody else did.
I saw his vest and pants come into view and I quickly closed my eyes. I couldn’t disrespect him. My lashings were still barely healed.
Suddenly, one of the bright lights in the room flicked off. “Nasty things, aren’t they? Paling the skin and flushing the cheeks. I like to see the blood dripping down my women when I take what I want from them.”
Tears burned my eyes as I tried to remain as still as possible, although at his words, my hands tightened ever so slightly around the edge of the table. My legs were screaming, my stomach was on fire, but his words sat raw within me. Was he planning on killing me? Just to take the chance away from Thomas?
Good.
