“And how do you feel?” I asked, looking over.
Her lip curled slightly. “Like I’d rather have a gun in my hand. It’s like an itch that is only ever relieved for a few hours.”
I turned back to the trees. I could understand that little, incessant itch. Although mine was far more malicious than hers would ever be. “Then perhaps you need to find a better purpose than going after the Russians.” The wild rose was something that needed to continuously be challenged. Not even a good fight with her precious Claim could ease that craving in her mind. No, she needed to control life and death. She needed to watch the light drain from the eyes of those she believed deserved it.
I liked watching the life drain from anyone’s eyes, but, I suppose, watching it leave the eyes of the deserving was far better rewarded than watching a civilian lose their life.
Barely, but better.
“Give me one then,” she told me. “Give me a trail, let me in on whatever you’re working on.”
I thrummed my fingers, watching a white flash sprint through two trees to my right. “It’s not my job to find your purpose, rose. Your vines grow wild, your thorns are sharp. If there are no longer any Delepski’s running through this world, then perhaps find something worth fighting for. Someone in need of saving just like you.”
They had been busy going after the few stragglers that managed to survive after the raid, along with the family members that lived around the world, but there was still a Delepski left, an uncle somewhere in Moscow. He didn’t attend the Church of Daylight there, but he did believe in the same things the Delepski’s had. However, it wasn’t my job to show her the trail. She needed to find it herself. I would not be the keeper of this new up and coming Shadow, no matter what we shared within us.
She scoffed, turning back to the trees. “I hate assignments. I don’t want to besent.”
We were similar in that sense. There were many reasons I did what I did, and that was one of them, although I did, from time to time, humor father dearest. “Thensearch. Search for something worthy of your new life. Sometimes that means diving into the depths of this world and never coming out the other end.”
“Is that what you’re doing?” she pried. “Is that how you found your card?”
The smile grew again. I clicked my tongue. “Fishing is not your strong suit, rose. Go, take your wolf and seek out your prey. For you are the predator, and your teeth will never dull.”
She pressed her lips into a thin line, returning her attention to the trees. She was quiet for a long time before she spoke again. “Will you ever allow us to come into this little three-year mission of yours?”
If it’s dates she wanted to get into, then technically since the first day I had attended that church, it had been 3 years, 6 months, and 11 days. However, since the day I truly first started my mission? That was more around 10 years, 10 months, and 20 days. Two months early I had escaped that asylum. It wasn’t random that it had been only two months. I did have trouble escaping back then, but I had realized just after I had gotten out, that the reason I had had such trouble escaping was because I hadn’t found what I needed.
Once I found it, it was as if the gates had opened wide. Information held many keys.Thatinformation had held mine.
“Patience, rose.”
She looked over again, her strange eyes finding mine. “How long were you patient?”
There it was again, that dangerous little fire burning red just passed her irises. “Far longer than you will have to be.”
18
Scarlett
January 2nd, 2023
As soon as we arrived back at the house they assigned to me, Thomas shoved me through the door, causing me to stumble and fall.
My wrist bent back at an odd angle, but the pain was quickly drowned out by the instinct he had pounded into me, and I tried to stand up. I had to show respect; he was my betrothed. He didn’t tell me to get on my knees, I slipped, I had to correct myself.
“No,” he said, shutting the door behind him. “Get on your knees.”
My heart skipped a beat, but I felt nothing. The entire drive back here, all I could think about was not what Azrael had said, but that taste in my mouth, the pain on my head where I had had a pigtail, my twisting stomach, and the searing pain in my chest.
This was the rest of my punishment.
He wanted me to do to him what I had done to Mr. Bastrom. I was impure now, and he was going to take advantage of it. Turn it into something I could use to worship man like the Good Book wanted.
I got on my knees, my pencil skirt making the movements difficult, the end of it tightening around my ankles and cuttingoff the circulation to my feet. My skin had grown too hot, and not in a good way. Not in the way Azrael’s eyes warmed me.
Thomas walked up to me, unzipping his pants, and I closed my eyes and opened my mouth, feeling something wet trickle down my cheek as I forced my mind to drift away.
Drift far away.
